IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is becoming increasly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#year #school #university
It is widely argued by some that, taking a
gap
year
 in order to work or travel before beginning one’s tertiary education is beneficial.
Although
this
 has some advantages, it
also
 has some disadvantages. There are three main benefits to
students
 travelling or working before their university education.
Firstly
, through travelling, they will broaden their horizons.
In addition
,
students
 who go overseas will be exposed to different cultures and customs.
As a result
, they will gain a deeper understanding of the world.
Secondly
,
students
 who work will learn to appreciate value for money.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, they will realise the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 involved in earning money and they will think more before purchasing anything they desire. 
Finally
, it is possible to take advantage of their experience and age.
For example
, there are many
gap
year
 educational programs in which experience could be a huge asset. 
However
, there are a number of downsides as well.
Firstly
, travelling might cause people to feel homesick. Many
students
 have not been apart from their family and friends before so when they travel, they may miss the people. What is more, in extreme circumstances,
students
 may even become depressed.
Secondly
,
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 may not want to return to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 studies.
Moreover
, they may enjoy earning money and becoming financially independent. They might be negatively affected by
this
 as nowadays it is very important to graduate with a degree in order to compete
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the job market.
Lastly
, the
gap
year
 might cause some
students
 to fall behind in their studies.
For instance
, many
students
' close friends will already be adapted to university life by the time they arrive. In conclusion,
students
 who take a
gap
year
 can gain invaluable experience and learn more independence in their financial life.
However
, they may
also
 become homesick and end up returning to their studies.
Submitted by vishalchauhan7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: