Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
believe that by travelling they can learn about different cultures and traditions, Whereas
others argue that they can have the same knowledge and pieces of information
without leaving the comfort of their own country. This
essay, will explore both points of view and address my conclusion about the statement.
On the one hand, Many people
love to travel all around the globe to admire the variety of cultures and traditions. Furthermore
, ex-pats can interact with the people
of this
certain community and gather information
from them . For example
, Many
British ex-pats moved to the Arabian Peninsula in the late 1800s to learn and study the Fix capitalization
many
Bedouins
cultures and their way of living . Change noun form
Bedouin's
Bedouins'
In addition
, Other individuals travel to different places to admire the beautiful landscapes and God's creations .
On the other hand
, A minority of people
believe that they can know about other nations in depth without leaving their homes and travelling across the world. They think that with the help of the new and developed technology, it can podcasts
and show them about the specific country that they want to learn about. Change the verb form
podcast
Also
, Some folks are scared about their safety and privacy .For instance
, many Western scientist want to visit Third World countries and learn about the variation of ethnicities there and study them but often are scared for their lives.
In conclusion, exploring countries can be a fun experience for a mass majority of people
, But sometimes you have to put your safety first . I undoubtedly disagree with the idea that people
can access any information
on the Internet about certain regions as I believe that there is much false information
out there regarding some communities.Submitted by helpme on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the overall flow and making your argument easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
While you have a proper introduction and conclusion, focusing your conclusion a bit more could create a more impactful closure. Summarize the main points discussed more precisely.
task achievement
Supporting your main points with more relevant and detailed specific examples can strengthen your argument. Sometimes, general examples may not effectively illustrate your point.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay tackles both perspectives, but clarity could be improved. Ensure each main idea is expressed clearly and concisely, minimizing ambiguity for the reader.
task achievement
You addressed both perspectives in your essay, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic. This is key to a well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion well.