Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that by travelling they can learn about different cultures and traditions,

Whereas

Linking Words

others argue that they can have the same knowledge and pieces of

information

Use synonyms

without leaving the comfort of their own country.

This

Linking Words

essay, will explore both points of view and address my conclusion about the statement. On the one hand, Many

people

Use synonyms

love to travel all around the globe to admire the variety of cultures and traditions.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, ex-pats can interact with the

people

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

certain community and gather

information

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from them .

For example

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Many

Fix capitalization

many

show examples

British ex-pats moved to the Arabian Peninsula in the late 1800s to learn and study the

Bedouins

Change noun form

Bedouin's

Bedouins'

show examples

cultures and their way of living .

In addition

Linking Words

, Other individuals travel to different places to admire the beautiful landscapes and God's creations .

On the other hand

Linking Words

, A minority of

people

Use synonyms

believe that they can know about other nations in depth without leaving their homes and travelling across the world. They think that with the help of the new and developed technology, it can

podcasts

Change the verb form

podcast

show examples

and show them about the specific country that they want to learn about.

Also

Linking Words

, Some folks are scared about their safety and privacy .

For instance

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, many Western scientist want to visit Third World countries and learn about the variation of ethnicities there and study them but often are scared for their lives. In conclusion, exploring countries can be a fun experience for a mass majority of

people

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, But sometimes you have to put your safety first . I undoubtedly disagree with the idea that

people

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can access any

information

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on the Internet about certain regions as I believe that there is much false

information

Use synonyms

out there regarding some communities.

helpmeTue Aug 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the overall flow and making your argument easier to follow.

introduction conclusion present

While you have a proper introduction and conclusion, focusing your conclusion a bit more could create a more impactful closure. Summarize the main points discussed more precisely.

task achievement

Supporting your main points with more relevant and detailed specific examples can strengthen your argument. Sometimes, general examples may not effectively illustrate your point.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay tackles both perspectives, but clarity could be improved. Ensure each main idea is expressed clearly and concisely, minimizing ambiguity for the reader.

task achievement

You addressed both perspectives in your essay, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic. This is key to a well-rounded argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion well.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Interactions
Tourism
Local economies
Cross-cultural understanding
Carbon emissions
Accessibility
Diverse perspectives
Authenticity
Reliability
Virtual reality
Immersive experiences

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Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say companies should require all employees to wear uniforms at ‎work. Others think it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your own ‎opinion‎.

Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in many countries today, if people want to find works, they have to move away from their friends and families. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?