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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in 6 countries.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in 6 countries.
The given table indicates the data about the subways in 6 different countries across the globe.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
London’s
subway
Use synonyms
 is the oldest and the longest system
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list,
whereas
Linking Words
 Los Angeles’s
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the youngest. Another point that should
also
Linking Words
 be highlighted is that Tokyo has the most overflowed underground railway among other countries, whilst the
subway
Use synonyms
 in Kyoto is the least overloaded and short. Looking at the details,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
London’s
Change noun form
London
show examples
subway
Use synonyms
 was commissioned in 1863 and now has 394
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of
route
Add an article
the route
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 and 775
million
Use synonyms
 passengers per
year
Use synonyms
. Subways in Paris and Tokyo were introduced in 1900 and 1927 respectively. There are from 200 to 150
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route and throughput
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 1191 and 1927
million
Use synonyms
 passengers per
year
Use synonyms
 respectively. Underground systems in Washington DC and Kyoto were built in the late 20th century. There is 126 kilometre of railways and 144
million
Use synonyms
 people per
year
Use synonyms
 in Washington DC.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Kyoto has just under 100
kilometres
Use synonyms
 and people
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
in
Use synonyms
subway
Add an article
the subway
show examples
 system. At the beginning of
21th
Change the ending
21st
show examples
 century
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 built
subway
Use synonyms
 in Los Angeles,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
length
Correct article usage
a length
show examples
 is 28
kilometres
Use synonyms
 and 50
million
Use synonyms
 passengers per
year
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words subway, kilometres, million, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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