Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Government should introduce measures to restrict ownership to those who need them for their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#ownership #phones #years #effects #health #society #government #measures #work

Recently, a couple of years ago ownership of smartphones has significantly increased despite the danger it can cause to individuals and on majority.

Therefore

people discuss whether the government should ban and limit telephone usage.

However

, in my point of

view

Add a comma

,view

show examples

adults are totally free to utilize their personal gadgets,

whereas

for the new

generation

Add a comma

,generation

show examples

it is prohibited

due to

age-restricted information they can face. To start with, a smartphone is a big distraction to human beings if used only for entertainment. People are ready to scroll through social news and watch shows they enjoy, forgetting about their work.

Thus

this

will lead to being less productive, and misguide a person's success in whatever he or she wants to lead.

For instance

, I was always distracted from my education

as a result

of a huge amount of social media consumption,

afterwards

Add a comma

,afterwards

show examples

I started to utilize my phone correctly, by reading books, keeping a daily journal and learning through online courses. The opportunity a mobile is providing is astonishing,

hence

if it is used correctly an individual might get marvellous at their work.

Nonetheless

, the problem with banning telephones for kids and teenagers is quite contrasting from adults. Social media has extremely wide information consumption.

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

kids might face some restricted data from there. An adult understands what is he or she watching, notwithstanding a teenager can't differentiate the material they see. A huge amount of dopamine is released when a kid watches a restricted video material, which really damages the psychology of youth. In conclusion, I believe that mobile phones shouldn’t be banned for adults,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

they might do it for kids

due to

an argument I mentioned above or at least put some restrictions on the use of social publishings.

Submitted by lil.abdulla on Sat Feb 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantage of this policy outwiegh the disadvantage?
In some urban areas, entrepreneur tend to adjust stores, institutions, companies and houses in particular areas and separate them from each other. This writer’s opinion argues that the benefits of making a profit and be easy to manage outweigh the drawback of movement of suburb.
<4
band
Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is a debatable statement on whether or not students have to be obliged to wear uniforms in school so that they could focus more on studying instead of showing off their fancy clothes. I strongly aggree that pupils need to wear uniforms and would like to explain the reasons in this essay.
7
band
Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Other believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this day and age, it is argued by some that environmental preservation is the government's responsibility while others believe that every citizen should be responsible. Although there are some reasons why the government should save the environment from harm, I personally believe that individuals should also share this responsibility.
6.5
band
Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that rich nations should allow more refugees to enter their borders and support them with food and shelter. This essay completely agrees with this view because rich countries have enough resources to do this and these people are fleeing from countries that are affected by war and famine.
4
band
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that students study in university in their city, someone view is that get knowledge abroad more beneficial. It is undeniable that study has become an essential part of our life. However there is no absolute agreement as some people find learning overseas beneficial, while others consider everything associated with foreign states negatively. Surely, there are both pros and cons to schooling in another city but I believe advantages outweight disadvantages.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantage of this policy outwiegh the disadvantage?

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Other believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+