IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government investment in the arts such music and theatre , it is waste of money . Governmentust invest this money in public service instead . To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement .

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governmentust #service
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in human life since ancient civilizations. Almost all rulers in the past encouraged the public to be actively involved in different kinds of fine
arts
Use synonyms
 and they enjoyed the creativity of the nation.
Hence
Linking Words
, governments still invest money in
arts
Use synonyms
 for their sustainability and development.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that it is a waste of money. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will discuss why
art
Use synonyms
 is important in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Arts
Use synonyms
 is an umbrella term which includes many varieties of skills. Painting is an
art
Use synonyms
 which shows the ability and skill of an artist. Paintings create happiness in
minds
Correct article usage
the minds
show examples
 of the audience. Some amazing portraits look natural and mesmerize people.
For example
Linking Words
, Piccaso's Monalisa is a wonderful creature which attracts all visitors with its unique appearance. Piccaso painted
this
Linking Words
 drawing with an illusional look that the eyes of Monalisa always look at visitors wherever they are.
That is
Linking Words
 why
this
Linking Words
 painting sold out for billions of money. Meanwhile, drama and music are
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 for the public which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them relieve their stress.
Further
Linking Words
, concerts and theatre earn a lot of income for the country. The unique culture of any nation is mainly dependent on
arts
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as dance, costume, music and song. For a better example, the Kandian dance and the elephant parade in Sri Lanka are highly popular in other countries.
This
Linking Words
 traditional
art
Use synonyms
 attracts a large number of tourists to Sri Lanka and helps in earning foreign currency.
Also
Linking Words
, encouraging
art
Use synonyms
 empowers the culture and creates many employments. In conclusion, investing in the
arts
Use synonyms
 is a way of increasing the income of any country and never being wasted.
Submitted by nusairmsm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the stance on the given topic and that the conclusion effectively summarises the main points of the essay. Maintain consistency and logic in the essay structure to improve coherence. Use appropriate linking words and phrases to improve cohesion and coherence.
task response
The response provides a clear stance on the given topic and presents comprehensive ideas with relevant examples. Ensure to address all parts of the essay prompt in a balanced and relevant manner to further improve task achievement.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: