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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the best way to redude crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better, alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #redude #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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Some
people
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 believe that giving longer
sentences
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 is a favourable way to reduce the number of
crimes
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while
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 others feel that there are more effective approaches to prevent them. Which is better in the long run?
Although
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 giving a lifetime sentence discourages
people
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 to commit a
crime
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, alternative ways
such
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 as installing a
CCTV
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 camera, work better to stop it. Some
people
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 argue that a lifetime sentence stops
people
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 from committing a
crime
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 because no one wants to waste
such
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 a long time in prison. By way of an example, the government of Japan has established stricter
sentences
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 including longer
sentences
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, which aims to reduce criminal cases.
As a consequence
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, the number of criminals has been decreasing gradually.
However
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,
this
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 change only works for serious
crimes
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such
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 as cybercrimes and murder, and the amount of relatively casual
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 does not decrease effectively.
As a result
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, it does not have a huge impact on reducing
crimes
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.
On the other hand
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, monitoring
people
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 by introducing
CCTV
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cameras
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 in city districts has a positive effect on reducing
crimes
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 because
people
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 feel that if they commit a
crime
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, the police will arrest them quickly. A good example of
this
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 is London where the number of
crimes
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 decreased after installing the
cameras
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 in the CBD.
According to
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 an article in the Asahi Shimbun newspaper published
last
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 month, eight out of ten adults who had criminal records answered that
CCTV
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 might be one of the best methods to stop
crimes
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.
Therefore
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, the Ministry of Justice in Japan is now considering introducing more monitoring
cameras
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 in metropolitan areas
such
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 as Tokyo. In conclusion,
although
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 there are benefits to making longer
sentences
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, it is clearly better to install
CCTV
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cameras
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 to prevent
people
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 from committing a
crime
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. Governments must take responsibility for handling criminal issues in
this
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 effective way.
Submitted by ryohei.1015.golf on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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