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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of cars made in three countries in 2003, 2006 and 2009.

The table below shows the number of cars made in three countries in 2003, 2006 and 2009.
#cars #three #countries
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The given table illustrates the production of
cars
 in
Argentina
,
Australia
 and
Thailand
 from 2003 to 2009.
Overall
,
Thailand
 was the leader concerning the production of
cars
 over the whole period.
In addition
, the number of autos which were made in
Argentina
 and
Thailand
 witnessed an upward trend,
whereas
 the figures for
Australia
 showed a downward trend during the period in question.
Argentina
 had the least number of produced autos in the first year, but in the year 2009, the least numbers were in
Australia
. In 2003,
Thailand
 was dominant and had 735825 produced vehicles,
compare
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compared
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 to other countries, which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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made 235088 copies in
Argentina
 and 452163 copies in
Australia
.
Following
this
, the figures for
Argentina
 showed
a
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growth to 352759 vehicles, which made
this
 country the second highest in the year 2006.
Thailand
also
 witnessed a considerable increase
by
Change preposition
of
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 about 400000
cars
 in 2006. During the
last
 3 years, the number of
cars
 which were devised in
Argentina
 increased to 466089
cars
,
whereas
this
 index decreased in
Thailand
 from 1162356 automobiles to 999963 automobiles,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it country was still the leader.
Submitted by alieksdandr on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, argentina, australia, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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