In many countries, art galleries visitors have been declining steadily. What are the possible reason? how to change this trend?

#countries #art #galleries #visitors #reason #change #trend

In many parts of the world, fewer and fewer

people

can be seen at

art

galleries in the present day.

This

essay will state the possible reason for

this

downfall and suggest some options to alter

this

trend.

Firstly

, one of the significant factors contributing to

this

issue is that

people

are heavily immersed in their work in the red-race society nowadays to firm their livelihoods and their future nest egg.

Thus

, they usually spend time at home during the weekend to do their house chores and with their family.

Secondly

, the quality of the

art

seems decreasing, and loses the interest of the public.

This

happens when artists struggle to earn a living and leave no room for their professionalism.

As a result

, they aim to persuade the majority for the money rather than to show off their skills. There are a few suggestions to improve the situation.

Art

can de-stress

people

's minds.

For instance

art

such

as scenery, forest and waterfall pictures promote the tranquillity of the human mind.

Consequently

, the employer should provide family days for their employees by letting them visit the

art

galleries to relax their minds.

Additionally

, the government should support the artists by providing affordable rental prices or free-of-charge function halls to showcase their artworks.

For example

, in Singapore, artwork shows are allowed free of charge at the shopping mall function place so that the artists can able to closely get in touch with the locals to promote their artwork skills. In conclusion,

people

are busy and struggling for their living resulting the fewer visitors to

art

galleries.

Additionally

, the government concentrated more on the economic sectors to form developing countries. These causes are mainly

due to

human factors.If we can improve and balance those inequalities,

art

can be again an integral part of human society.

Submitted by ryanmaw.07 on Sun Jul 30 2023

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task achievement

To improve your task response, ensure that you expand on each point with more specific details and varied vocabulary. This will give your essay a more comprehensive and insightful look at the issue. Providing additional relevant examples can also enhance your arguments.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, try to use more diverse linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. While your essay is logically structured, make sure each paragraph transitions clearly to the next. Diversifying the sentence structure can also help in making your essay flow more naturally.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured response.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons for the declining number of visitors and suggesting solutions. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

task achievement

You provided specific examples, such as the situation in Singapore, which help to illustrate your points more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, art galleries visitors have been declining steadily. What are the possible reason? how to change this trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many parents believe that children should read strict educational books and not any other entertainment books as it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree.

Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.