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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the transport modes in European city between 1960 and 2000

The graph shows the transport modes in European city between 1960 and 2000
#transport #modes #european #city
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The provided bar chart illustrates the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
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transportation systems between the
year
of
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1960 and 2000 in a European country.
Overall
, there was some major fluctuation in transport mode
of
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over
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 three different years. The
most
Correct quantifier usage
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transportation methods used by people are
cars
 and
by
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foot.
According to
 the data, in 1960
cars
 are the least vehicles operated by people just about 6%,
while
bywalking
Correct your spelling
walking
by walking
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the most people
like
Wrong verb form
liked
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 and the number of
this
 method reached approximately 34%.
Following
this
, in 1980 the transportation system by bus was the highest quantity roughly 26%. Meanwhile, by foot was the lowest amount in that
year
 it
just
Add a missing verb
was just
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 below 20%.
Finally
, in the new era in
2000
Add a comma
,2000
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 the number of
cars
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been increased significantly from the
year
of
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apply
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1980 and reached over 35%.
This
 was a huge amount than all transport methods and all over the years. On the other side,
the
Correct article usage
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bike was
the
Correct article usage
a
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 small quantity in that
year
, and the number of
this
 was just under 10%.
This
 is the same amount as
cars
 in 1960.
Submitted by viraandayani5 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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