IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some cities have few control over design and construction on housing and office buildings. People think that they are free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#cities #control #design #construction #office #buildings #people
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Several cities have a small number of regulations over blueprints and
construction
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 on
houses
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 and
office
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 buildings. Individuals believe that they have the freedom to opt for the sketch they like. Personally, I trust that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, some say they should be allowed to select the home and
office
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 building
design
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 they like because
this
Linking Words
 helps personalize the appearance of their homes and offices.
For instance
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, in my country, citizens tend to build their
houses
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 or
office
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 places
according to
Linking Words
 what they like For my mother likes a modern house which is painted bright green and has three floors
while
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 one of my neighbours is keen on building her house as a pink villa with many trees around and other one prefer a traditional house and so on. The homes represent their personal lifestyles, so they usually talk about their
houses
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 proudly.
On the other hand
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, it is thought that free choice of the drawing and
construction
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 of accommodations and
office
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 buildings brings some disadvantages.
For example
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, in most areas in my country, people have the freedom to build and
design
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 their
houses
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 or
office
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 property which have a rich variety of designs
such
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 as height, colours, forms, structure and much more .
This
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 causes a messy landscape of the city. If there are a small number of controls over the
design
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 and
construction
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 of housing and
office
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 buildings, which will help to ensure the aesthetic and convenient transportation of certain areas in some cities.
For instance
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, some spaces of cities in the latest plan of my country were compelled to build
houses
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 following its rules
such
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 as same colour, shape, height, scare, size and much more.
Consequently
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, these areas are very beautiful in appearance
as well as
Linking Words
 smart and convenient for transportation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 having a small number of control over the
design
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 and
construction
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 of homes and
office
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 property causes a limit in personal showing, it brings beautiful neighbourhoods with smart views.
Therefore
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 it seems to me that its advantages overcome the disadvantages.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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coherence cohesion
While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, there were points in your essay where the logical structure could have been improved for better flow of ideas. Try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain cohesiveness.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your use of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and sentences within paragraphs. This will help with the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your main points. This will enhance the credibility and depth of your arguments.
task achievement
Vary your sentence structures and use more academic vocabulary where appropriate to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your viewpoint, setting a strong foundation for the essay.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples that support your main points, which adds clarity to your arguments.
logical structure
You have well-organized paragraphs with clear main ideas, which contributes to the overall clarity of your essay.
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