Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
day and age, the environment
is always a hotly debated topic. Some individuals argue that the main environmental issue of our time is the disappearance of many kinds of plants
and animals
. However
, others believe that many other environmental matters are more vital for us to care.
The following essay will discuss both views and give my opinion.
Change preposition
about.
Firstly
, many people claim that the loss of particular species of plants
and animals
is the main problem of the environment
. It is not difficult to understand because nowadays a lot of plants
and animals
are used for commercial or entertainment purposes. So humans are harnessing them excessively and leading to the extinction of many plants
and animals
. For example
, a great deal of tigers and elephants are captured in zoos or circuses with the aim of bringing laughter to everyone, therefore
, after a long time they will also
die without any other tigers or elephants giving birth.
In contrast
, others say that there are more crucial environmental matters. It is not wrong because now our environment
is increasingly polluted. It is the consequence of the rising number of vehicles which use fossil fuels and bad awareness of humans. For instance
, today, people often use cars or
motorbikes or other vehicles which use fossil fuels very much. Correct word choice
apply
Therefore
when they operate, they release carbon dioxide and smog into the air and they can be harmful to humans.
In conclusion, many individuals say that an important environmental issue is the disappearance of many species. However
, other environmental problems are also
very vital. In my opinion, the extinction of many plants
and animals
is an essential problem but others like a polluted environment
or climate change are also
issues that people need to care about and solve immediatelySubmitted by duongntt.tld on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
lexical resource
Consider using more diverse vocabulary to avoid repetition, such as synonyms for 'important' and 'problem'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure transitions between paragraphs are smoother; try using phrases like 'On the other hand' instead of 'In contrast' to show clear contrasting ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to more convincingly support your points, especially in the discussion of pollution and fossil fuels.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on each main idea a bit more thoroughly, making each paragraph richer with details.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views clearly and provides a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both well-structured and clearly present the main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, contributing to the overall structure of the essay.