Using mobile phones and computers, many people are not able to communicate face-to-face.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often believed that many
people
Use synonyms
living today lack the ability to communicate face-to-face with their growing
reliance
Use synonyms
on modern technology
such
Linking Words
as mobile phones and computers. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
view, for their increasing time in isolation regardless of the fact that electric gadgets have made them more comfortable in expressing their views. On the one hand, continuous
reliance
Use synonyms
on technology damages the interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
of many
people
Use synonyms
as they are more separated from
others
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, various services are provided by electric tools, which makes many young adults too satisfied to spend more time with
others
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, students that I currently teach at high school seem to be so obsessed with playing online games and watching movies to avoid contact with
others
Use synonyms
. When it comes to talking for a break,
however
Linking Words
, they only speak a few words,
while
Linking Words
barely making eye
contacts
Fix the agreement mistake
contact
show examples
, which makes their conversations awkward and confusing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
reliance
Use synonyms
on electric gadgets facilitates
people
Use synonyms
's
communication
Use synonyms
in real life since they gain more confidence in expressing their personal feelings. Indeed, they are more likely to expose their private lives as they post their pictures and video clips on various SNS sites
such
Linking Words
as
You-Tube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
and Instagram.
This
Linking Words
allows them to have
communication
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
that are essential in real life as they gain a wide range of
vocabularies
Fix the agreement mistake
vocabulary
show examples
in various topics
as well as
Linking Words
more objective evaluations of themselves to impress
others
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their
reliance
Use synonyms
on technology does not necessarily inhibit their interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
as they express themselves in various ways. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that the use of mobile phones and computers negatively affects
people
Use synonyms
's
communication
Use synonyms
as they enjoy more solitary activities.
However
Linking Words
, their
communication
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
improve dramatically thanks to frequent opportunities to express themselves.
Submitted by mizuho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all your ideas are fully articulated, and the essay systematically addresses all components of the prompt, with a well-rounded exploration of different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Think about structuring your arguments in a more distinct manner, ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly present and summarize the main arguments, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides specific examples to support your ideas, enhancing understanding and engagement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: