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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006
The bar chart illustrates the worldwide sales of mobile phones,online,console and handheld
games
Use synonyms
 in the period between 2000 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,the chart is measured in billions.At the start of,2000 there were only
two
Use synonyms
 kinds of
games
Use synonyms
:handheld and console.
However
Linking Words
,with the development of technologies,in the
last
Linking Words
 ,
year
Use synonyms
 we can see all four of them.The biggest difference between them was in 2002.
Firstly
Linking Words
,as applicable was mentioned,in 2000 there were only console and handheld
games
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,in the next
two
Use synonyms
 years mobile and online
games
Use synonyms
 joined apply them.At the,start the
number
Use synonyms
 of console
games
Use synonyms
 was 6
billion
Use synonyms
 and a handheld's-little bit less than 12.
However
Linking Words
,next years both of them had significant changes.Console
games
Use synonyms
 started to fall and did it till the end.In 2006 their
number
Use synonyms
 was about 3
billion
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of handheld
games
Use synonyms
' amount was becoming bigger and bigger from
year
Use synonyms
 to
year
Use synonyms
.In the,end it rose to almost 18
billion
Use synonyms
 in sales.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
two
Use synonyms
 other kinds of
games
Use synonyms
:mobile and online,started from about 1
billion
Use synonyms
.In 2002 they had a gentel rise.
However
Linking Words
,in 2003 the
number
Use synonyms
 of mobile
games
Use synonyms
 was higher than online ones.
Besides
Linking Words
 in the next
year
Use synonyms
 they were equiel again.For next
two
Use synonyms
 years their
number
Use synonyms
 continued to decrease and did it till the end.In 2006 the
number
Use synonyms
 of phone
games
Use synonyms
 was about 7 billions and the online's
number
Use synonyms
 was about 9 billions.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words games, two, year, number, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global sales
  • Digital games
  • Trends
  • Emergence
  • Decline
  • Console games
  • Handheld games
  • Popularity
  • Steady increase
  • Online games
  • Mobile phone games
  • Technological advancements
  • Consumer behavior
  • Subsequent growth
  • Noticeable changes
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