IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#illnesses
The number of
diseases
 which are related to
stress
 is increasing these days. I will discuss in
this
 essay, workplace pressure and long working hours as causes for
stress
-related sicknesses and solutions to the problems including improving one's work-life balance and good
diet
 habits.
People
 are working longer hours than before.
Therefore
, they have a high level of work pressure.
Furthermore
, individuals tend to do extra tasks because of the competitive trend in corporate. As an example, employees try to achieve high positions and find
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 employers to gain more benefits to fulfil their limitless requirements.
However
,
this
 scenario will lead to one's mentally and physically unbalanced and stressful life with
diseases
. Maintaining better work-life balance and healthy food habits which are solutions for
people
 who are fed up with
stress
-related illnesses. Indeed,
people
 should identify end results as placing their workforce on top of the list and practising poor
diet
 patterns will exactly offer bad health.
For instance
, many workers' frames of mind are working environment and neglecting family, friends, hobbies, exercise
as well as
diet
.
Although
, they are reducing their workload and following
family-friendly
Correct article usage
a family-friendly
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 with
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
good diet plans
a good diet plan
show examples
diet
 plans, belong to a
stress
-free life.
Therefore
, practising these solutions can irradicate
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
diseases
. In conclusion, today many
people
 tend to get
diseases
due to
stress
. In
this
 essay, I discussed causes of producing
stress
 as
workplace
Replace the word
work
show examples
 pressure and long working periods.
Also
,
this
 essay suggests how to overcome these problems by adhering to a better work-life balance and a healthy
diet
 plan.
Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress-related illnesses
  • hypertension
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • modern lifestyle
  • work pressure
  • technological advancements
  • social pressures
  • material wealth
  • work-life balance
  • mindfulness
  • meditation
  • stress management
  • flexible working hours
  • telecommuting
  • mandatory vacation
  • educational programs
  • mental health
  • supportive work environment
  • counseling services
What to do next:
Look at other essays: