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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a particular school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.

The three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a particular school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.
#three #show #changes #school
A glance at the three pie charts provided
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
show examples
 some changes in annual
expendituring
Correct your spelling
expenditure
expenditures
 in one of the schools in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 in three decades.As it is clear,spending
money
 in all sectors has fluctuated during these years. The main sources of
money
,first of all,in the school
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 dedicated to
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
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 salaries with 40%,50%and 45% in1981,1991 and 2001 respectively.the second biggest proportion of
money
 spend
for
Change preposition
on
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 other
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
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 salaries,during
this
 period,
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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 slightly decreased between 15% and 28 %.
According to
 the pie charts,
school
Add an article
the school
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 has allocated
money
 for other parts
ot
Correct your spelling
of
 its school
such
 as preparing
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
 and other
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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,at least in 1991 with 5% and
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
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with
Change preposition
of
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 23% in 2001.Meanwhile during
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 years spending
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some resources,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 books,was
further
Correct article usage
a further
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 point.that it had
changes
Correct your spelling
changed
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,somewhere between 9% and 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.It is obvious,the smallest part of annual spending
money
 was related to
insurance
Add an article
the insurance
show examples
 sector and it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose from 2% in 1981 to 8 % in 2001.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words money with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual spending
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenses
  • financial distribution
  • percentage
  • increase/decrease in spending
  • significant change
  • expenditures
  • comparison
  • trend
  • category
  • shift
  • saw a rise/fall
  • investment
  • allocation
  • predominant
  • minor
  • resources
  • prioritize
  • fiscal policy
  • capital outlay
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