Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?
There is no denying the fact that the level of poverty increasing in the world.
This
essay will discuss the reasons behind this
phenomenon and create solutions to help them.
To begin
with, there are many causes for increasing the number of poor people
around the world. Firstly
, the high standard for all kinds of jobs
. In other words
, working in a large company or small one becomes harder nowadays. In addition
, business owners believe that the level of a person's education does not matter anymore, the important thing to be an employee is the daily skills, how to speak with customers, working with a team, and if
you can solve problems. Correct word choice
apply
Therefore
, a lot of people
do not complete their learning journey. This
is the reason for ignorance which often leads to poverty.
In terms of the method which would help poor people
is to increase awareness among people
of the importance of education. It is also
possible to say that the government should send researchers to check out the standards for the jobs
. Moreover
, limit the prices for marketing, grocery, education, and healthcare. For instance
, according to
a study made in Japan, number
of poor Change the article
a number
the number
people
reduced by 75% after providing jobs
suit teenagers, old people
, and those with disabilities. These jobs
were in various sectors such
as farming, factories, and fishing for those who have knowledge of fishing.
In conclusion, there are many reasons for poverty around the world. It is also
true that with understanding the main cause, we can think of potential solutions to tackle this
problem.Submitted by ahadaloufi3a on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a good introduction and conclusion, however, the main body paragraphs could be better organized. Try to ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and give more specific examples.
task achievement
While you have addressed the question and provided relevant points, some arguments are a bit general. Try to elaborate more on each point and provide specific, detailed examples to support your ideas.
general
There are some grammar and vocabulary issues that slightly affect the clarity of your ideas. Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice to ensure your writing is precise and clear.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to address both parts of the question, discussing causes of poverty and potential solutions.
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