IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Despite major advancements in agricultural technology, millions of people still experience
hunger
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 worldwide.
This
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 essay will examine the key causes of the issue and propose potential solutions. One of the main drivers of persistent
hunger
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 is the unequal
distribution
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 of
food
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.
Although
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 global
food
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 production is enough to feed 10 billion people, approximately 9% of the population suffers from chronic
hunger
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,
according to
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 the FAO.
For example
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, in sub-Saharan Africa, more than 20% of the population faces
food
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 insecurity. Climate change
further
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 intensifies the issue by causing extreme weather events,
such
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 as droughts and floods, that reduce crop yields. In 2020, East Africa saw a 30% drop in agricultural output
due to
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 severe drought,
while
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 in North Africa, extreme heat reaching 50 degrees Celsius resulted in the loss of 38% of livestock. To combat
this
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, developed nations should invest in sustainable agriculture in regions that struggle with
food
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 insecurity. The World Bank suggests that improving farming techniques could increase crop yields by up to 50%.
Additionally
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, creating a more effective
food
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distribution
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 network,
such
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 as expanding
food
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 banks, would help ensure that surplus
food
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 reaches those in need. Addressing poverty through education and job creation would
also
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 help people afford adequate nutrition. Building schools and kindergartens in underdeveloped countries could contribute to reducing illiteracy and enhancing
overall
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 education. In conclusion,
while
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 agricultural progress has been significant,
hunger
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 continues
due to
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food
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distribution
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 imbalances and the effects of climate change. By investing in sustainable farming and improving
food
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distribution
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 systems, the global
hunger
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 problem can be significantly alleviated. Coordinated efforts between governments and international organizations are essential to achieving
this
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 goal.

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task achievement
To enhance the overall impact, consider offering more varied solutions after stating the problems, such as incorporating community-level initiatives and highlighting the role of local governments in conjunction with international efforts.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs for better flow. For instance, when shifting from discussing causes to solutions, use transitional phrases like "In light of these issues" or "Given these challenges."
task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, identifying major causes and proposing thoughtful solutions.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is clear, with well-organized paragraphs that contribute to an easy-to-follow argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context, and the conclusion neatly summarizes the main points, reinforcing the essay's overall coherence.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the mention of drought in East Africa and extreme heat in North Africa, effectively support your arguments, making them more persuasive.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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