Some people think the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts

Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

think the

government

is spending

money

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crafts but some

people

argue that

this

money

should be better

to spend

Change the verb form

spent

show examples

other

Change the wording

another development sector

other development sectors

show examples

development

sector. I will examine

this

essay that

this

money

should be used

Change preposition

apply

show examples

elsewhere

Art

and craft is a creative sector. It

is play

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plays

show examples

a vital role

for

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show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

mental

development

because it is one

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apply

show examples

enjoyable leisure activity.

People

give their mind and eyes by seeing

art

exhibition which keeps our mind calm and active.

For instance

, many artists held craft and fashion

exhibition

Fix the agreement mistake

exhibitions

show examples

every year in schools ,colleges and other places.

Besides

, enhance the beauty of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

mind and can gain various types of idea about fashion and

art

In addition

this

, artists need

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

to arrange

art

programs.

However

, for developing our country

government

have to invest

money

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show examples

roads

Fix the agreement mistake

road

show examples

and bridges construction, stipend , educational core , health sector , poor

fund

and so on.

Government

should build lots of

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and colleges which is

main

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the main

show examples

side for

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

brain

development

because they are

Add an article

the weapon

a weapon

show examples

weapon

Fix the agreement mistake

weapons

show examples

of our country's future establishment.

Moreover

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should focus on poor

fund

and

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

health insurance. So my opinion is that

government

have to invest their

money

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

sectors.

Besides

art

can be

student's

Correct article usage

a student's

show examples

quality activity. In conclusion,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should not spend monetary

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

. They have to concentrate on

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

side for

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

goodwill.

Submitted by opshorajhumpa2001 on Mon Feb 27 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In theie advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience ? Is this a positive or negative development ?