In many countries, people are not looking care of their elderly relatives but seeking help of professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #care #relatives #professionals #development

In the 21st century, many countries have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

institutionalized

care

for senior citizens

instead

of their family

support

. In my opinion, I consider older

people

need

Fix the infinitive

to need

show examples

more relative

support

Add the particle

to compare

show examples

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to an organization. In

this

essay, I will explain my views on

this

topic with relevant examples.

To begin

with, there are many advantages vested

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having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

relative

care

for elders.

Firstly

family

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the family

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provides them

Change preposition

with more

show examples

mental and psychological

support

compared to a professional institution.

Secondly

, vulnerable

people

need a comfortable space from their inmates that cannot

guarente

Correct your spelling

guarantee

care

home.

For example

recent

Add an article

a recent

show examples

survey conducted by Age UK points out that, 73% of older

people

are not adjustable with their present

care

home.

Thirdly

, all these geriatric institutions need more financial

support

from a beneficiary

that is

not possible for everyone to have these services.

Finally

, old age is the

last

phase of human life faced with health-related problems

whereas

the long-term availability of close friends.

Moreover

, in some

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

professional help is inevitable for geriatric

care

especially

people

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for people

show examples

with dementia , cancer and mental problems.

Furthermore

, good health practitioners have

a knowledge

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knowledge

a piece of knowledge

show examples

for

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show examples

dealing with these issues with proper medical

care

. To illustrate

this

American

Correct article usage

the American

show examples

psychological association suggested that older

people

with mental problems especially psychosis need institutional

care

otherwise

it will affect

whole

Add an article

the whole

a whole

show examples

family and minor members to cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with the situation.

Similarly

, all

people

not

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do not

did not

show examples

have a good family tie-up so they need a proper place to live in their weak

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

. In conclusion, having a helpful hand from a blood-related person is essential for

old

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an old

show examples

generation but in

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

Add a comma

,life-style

show examples

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

it is not possible for everyone to get it.

Therefore

introduce

Wrong verb form

introducing

show examples

organized

care

will help lonely

people

Submitted by sooryag03 on Mon Feb 27 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, people are not looking care of their elderly relatives but seeking help of professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success is the best measure of intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that it is better to study subjects that have practical applications. Others, however, think it is better to study subjects that are theoretical. Discuss both views and give your opinion.