In many countries, people are not looking care of their elderly relatives but seeking help of professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #care #relatives #professionals #development

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In the 21st century, many countries have

Remove the article

apply

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institutionalized

care

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for senior citizens

instead

Linking Words

of their family

support

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. In my opinion, I consider older

people

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need

Fix the infinitive

to need

show examples

more relative

support

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Add the particle

to compare

show examples

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to an organization. In

this

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essay, I will explain my views on

this

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topic with relevant examples.

To begin

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with, there are many advantages vested

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show examples

having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

relative

care

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for elders.

Firstly

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family

Add an article

the family

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provides them

Change preposition

with more

show examples

mental and psychological

support

Use synonyms

compared to a professional institution.

Secondly

Linking Words

, vulnerable

people

Use synonyms

need a comfortable space from their inmates that cannot

guarente

Correct your spelling

guarantee

care

Use synonyms

home.

For example

Linking Words

recent

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a recent

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survey conducted by Age UK points out that, 73% of older

people

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are not adjustable with their present

care

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home.

Thirdly

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, all these geriatric institutions need more financial

support

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from a beneficiary

that is

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not possible for everyone to have these services.

Finally

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, old age is the

last

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phase of human life faced with health-related problems

whereas

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the long-term availability of close friends.

Moreover

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, in some

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

professional help is inevitable for geriatric

care

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especially

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people

Change preposition

for people

show examples

with dementia , cancer and mental problems.

Furthermore

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, good health practitioners have

a knowledge

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knowledge

a piece of knowledge

show examples

for

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show examples

dealing with these issues with proper medical

care

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. To illustrate

this

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American

Correct article usage

the American

show examples

psychological association suggested that older

people

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with mental problems especially psychosis need institutional

care

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otherwise

Linking Words

it will affect

whole

Add an article

the whole

a whole

show examples

family and minor members to cope

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apply

show examples

with the situation.

Similarly

Linking Words

, all

people

Use synonyms

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

have a good family tie-up so they need a proper place to live in their weak

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

. In conclusion, having a helpful hand from a blood-related person is essential for

old

Add an article

an old

show examples

generation but in

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

Add a comma

,life-style

show examples

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

it is not possible for everyone to get it.

Therefore

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introduce

Wrong verb form

introducing

show examples

organized

care

Use synonyms

will help lonely

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by sooryag03 on Mon Feb 27 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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In many countries, people are not looking care of their elderly relatives but seeking help of professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both arguments and give your opinion

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for veey fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Write about the following topic. The internet has vastly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.