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Band 7

7.It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

#change #people
Change
 in circumstances which benefit
people
, in the long run, can have desirable effects on individuals when compared with staying with the same attitude for a long period. Clearly,
change
 can lead to the growth of a person which helps them improve their skill at adapting to new environments.
However
, in some cases, uncertainty that can come with
change
 can create mental
health
 issues.
Firstly
,
change
 can lead
people
 to become better
people
, as modifying one’s lifestyle and negative behavioural patterns helps an individual to attain their full potential.
For example
,
people
 tend to learn stronger resilience, which makes them better at adapting to new environments.
Moreover
, circumstances that lead to a positive outcome, where
people
 successfully achieve their goals, increase their ability to overcome a variety of obstacles, which allows them to achieve goals that they set in the future.
On the other hand
,
change
 creates situations where there is uncertainty about the impact on the individuals involved, potentially leading to mental
health
 issues.
For instance
, when they invest their valuable time in new projects or try to adapt to a new environment, but the result is not the way that they expected, it can negatively impact their mental
health
 and create anxiety or stress from not knowing the outcome of the alteration.
To sum up
, dealing with alternative situations brings with it positive effects, like modified behavioural patterns and personal development.
Nevertheless
, in some cases,
change
 can create stress through uncertainty and negatively impact an individual’s mental
health
.
Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on

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task achievement
You provide a clear and comprehensive understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of change. However, adding more specific real-life examples could strengthen your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and ensure a seamless flow between different points. Slight improvements in transition sentences can increase readability.
task achievement
Your essay effectively balances both sides of the argument on the impact of change, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and clear, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This aids easy comprehension of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • stagnation
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • instability
  • stress
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • innovation
  • technology
  • quality of life
  • flexibility
  • embrace
  • transformative
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