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Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#cell #phones #internet #people #development
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There is no doubt that
phones
 and the
internet
 are considered the most basic communication methods and it is impossible to imagine our world without them. Almost everyone has
phones
 and got access to the
internet
.
however
, there are advantages and disadvantages. In
this
 essay I am going to talk about them and why is it important. ,
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 the
internet
 can help us in many ways
such
 as by making communication easier you can talk to your friend even if he was in another country. ,
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
 we have e-supermarket making
people
's life much easier than going outside. It should be noted that modern technology helped students to study because we had the covid-19 and
people
 couldn't go to school. As long as
people
 continue to develop the
internet
 we would have a great future. On the other ,hand there are disadvantages to the
internet
 and
phones
 the main problem is
people
 focus on the
internet
 rather than staying with their family or playing outside.
Although
phones
 can help us they can damage society
people
 by making them introverts and have more problems.
however
,
people
 are obsessed with buying new
phones
 and spend a lot of money on them because of the look of the phone. The
internet
 created problems none can fix and increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity and laziness and
people
 can order things
instead
 of going outside and buying them. In conclusion,
although
 there are some disadvantages of not talking with
people
 face-to-face and
therefore
 losing psychological contact, using the World Wide Web and mobile
phones
 have many benefits and
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
an important way in social relations.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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