IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Rubaiya apu The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentages of divorce in
Finland
 and
Sweden
 over a 5-year period between 2011 to 2015.
Overall
, at the
beginning
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,beginning
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Sweden
 had the highest divorce
rate
while
Finland
were
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was
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lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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 trend but over the period
Finland
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Finland's
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rate
 rose upward and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vise
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vice
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 versa with
Sweden
 but both have had fluctuated in the middle of the years.
Sweden
’s divorce
rate
 was about 45% in 2011
than
Correct word choice
and
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Finland
’s
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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38
Add a missing verb
was 38
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% approximately.
Then
, it rose
almost
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by almost
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 50% in 2012.
However
, the figure showed a gradual decrease to about 47% and 45% in 2013 and 2014, respectively. In the year
2015
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,2015
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 it went to 37%, the lowest peak point in the figure.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of divorces in
Finland
 was less than 40% in 2011 and it decreased even more in 2012, which is almost
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
Change preposition
of divorces
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divorces
Change the noun form
divorce
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rate
than
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in
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Sweden
.
However
, in 2013 the figure showed
the
Correct article usage
an
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 upward trend and experienced
the
Correct article usage
apply
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steadily
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steady
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 growth during the next two years. It increased
3
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by 3
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% in 2014
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to 2013 and by the end
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
2015
Add a comma
,2015
show examples
 it outrace
Sweden
 by 3% .
Submitted by englishpills077 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words finland, sweden, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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