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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
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The first bar chart illustrates the percentage of people who have a
computer
Use synonyms
 from 2002 to 2010,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 second one shows data about personal
computer
Use synonyms
 ownership by the stage of education for the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the number of computers increased steadily
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
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 period which is easily compared with education level. The personal
computer
Use synonyms
 figures raised relatively from approximately 55 per cent in 2002 to around 75% in 2010. From the second
graph
Add a comma
,graph
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 we can see that the percentage of
computer
Use synonyms
 ownership depends on the qualifications of the individual.
For example
Linking Words
, people who do not even
finished
Change the verb form
finish
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 high school (40
per
Change preposition
apply
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cent
Fix the agreement mistake
cents
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) have the least number at 15 % and,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 postgraduate students
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 accounted
90
Change preposition
for 90
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 % own the vast
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 at over 70.
According to
Linking Words
 the information from the bar chart the high school graduates

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words computer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend analysis
  • population demographics
  • educational attainment
  • disparities
  • technological advancement
  • digital divide
  • market penetration
  • socio-economic factors
  • predictive insights
  • statistical significance
  • longitudinal study
  • accessibility
  • affordability
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