IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries fast food becomes part of life. It affects people’s lifestyle and diet as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

In the modern world,
people
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 are focusing towards the quantity of
meals
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 rather than the quality of
meals
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. At
work
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work,
show examples
 they require permanent measures
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 in their own
life
Add a comma
life,
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 they are adapting quick-fix solutions. I believe that the adaptation of fast
food
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 in daily life with a combination of a sedentary
lifestyle
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lifestyle,
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 will produce catastrophic effects on our health. The temptation of ingredients and piping hot sauces
with
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, with
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 fast delivery of
food
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 with easy
availability
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availability,
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 are the core reasons which attract
people
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 towards fast
food
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.
In addition
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, some folks consider quick
meals
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 over traditional healthy
food
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due to
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 the nature of
work
Correct pronoun usage
their work
show examples
.
For example
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, Delivery drivers usually prefer to take quick-fix
meals
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while
Linking Words
 travelling rather than spending time in different locations to consume healthy
meals
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. When the consumption of high-calorie
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 is mixed
up
Change preposition
apply
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with our habits
which
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, which
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includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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 sedentary
lifestyles
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lifestyles,
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 it will develop severe medical problems
such
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 as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, Gastric diseases and many more.
For instance
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, a hike has been reported in cases of heart attacks in young
people
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which
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, which
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 may
probably
Rephrase
apply
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be
due to
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 the consumption of unhealthy
meals
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.
Similarly
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,
Gastric related
Use the right word
gastric-related
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 problems are
also
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 widely discussed and associated with quick
food
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.
Moreover
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, youngsters are
also
Linking Words
 losing their interest in sports as they always feel lethargic and feel fullness in their abdomen.
Thus
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, it will lead to a detrimental lifestyle.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if
people
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 avoid junk
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food
Punctuation problem
food,
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people
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 may obtain a much
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
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 lifestyle and
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
Correct article usage
a result
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 they can save a decent amount in terms of health checkups To put it in a nutshell,
Process
Replace the word
Processed
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 foods may always produce a negative effect on health as it doesn’t consist
necessary
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of necessary
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 minerals and
food
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 extracts that are found in natural
food
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.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your main opinion about the topic. It should summarize the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'in addition', and 'for example' to help the flow.
coherence cohesion
Add a conclusion that clearly restates your opinion and summarizes your key points for better impact.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples related to fast food and health issues, which support your opinion well.
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