IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given graph shows the main sources of energy for USA in 1980 and 1990.

The given graph shows the main sources of energy for USA in 1980 and 1990.
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The pie charts compare five different sources of
power
Use synonyms
 for the USA which were measured in percentage , over an 11-
year
Use synonyms
 time period from 1980 to 1990. In general ,
oil
Use synonyms
 was the main source of energy in America in both years .
Whereas
Linking Words
 , hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 accounted for the least .
However
Linking Words
 , after 11 years the popularity of
oil
Use synonyms
 decreased . To be specific,in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 42 % of energy for the USA was from
oil
Use synonyms
 and it was the highest compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four categories.
However
Linking Words
, in 1990 the popularity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
Use synonyms
 recorded a drastic fall in their energy production , which was 33% .
By contrast
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coal and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 had only 22% and 5% in the initial
year
Use synonyms
 but after 11 years they had reported
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 rose in their
power
Use synonyms
 production and it reached 5% each in the final
year
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 , natural gas and hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 had almost stable throughout the
year
Use synonyms
 and it was 26% and 5% in 1980 but, moving forward natural gas had a 1% decrease ( 21%)
while
Linking Words
 for hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
, it was the same (5%) .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, oil, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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