Write about the following topic: In many parts of the world, shopping is no longer a way that people buy things that they need, and it has been developed into a form of entertainment. What are the reasons for this development? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #parts #world #people #form #entertainment #development

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Shopping is a way

for

Change preposition

show examples

purchasing what we need. Nowadays

this

Linking Words

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

a form of hobby and people enjoy spending a considerable quantity of time shopping. The reasons for

this

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issue are a more affordable condition of population, accessibility, and convenience to massive shopping centres. In my opinion, it has a positive effect.

Firstly

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, the economic ability of the community increased

due to

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higher income and salary of many different jobs. Establishments and private factories have rocketed their workforces' wages.

As a result

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, they could purchase things that they could not afford before.

For example

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, buying jewellery which was not possible for a medium-class family is possible now.

In addition

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, the erection of a lot of massive shopping centres with spacious parking and varying numbers of state-of-the-art shops entice individuals to have at least window shopping and

then

Linking Words

high-grade it to pulse shopping.

According to

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above-mentioned reasons, shopping has been changed from a day-to-day activity to a Routine entertainment. It provides a happy sense of achievement and fulfils the wasted time people and prepares their ability to spend their free time in modern shopping centres.

For instance

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, a psychoanalysis report from the university centre showed that folks with 3 hours of shopping per week have a better level of happiness.

Therefore

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, I

accord

Verb problem

agree

show examples

with the hugely positive effect of shopping customs. In conclusion, shopping is not only a habit for survival but

also

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it could be as entertainment. The richness of the population and convenient access to shopping malls are the main reasons for increasing interest in it.

Submitted by dr.mansoori41 on Tue Feb 28 2023

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task response

Your essay addresses the topic but lacks depth in addressing the reasons for the development of shopping as a form of entertainment. You could provide a deeper analysis and explore other factors contributing to this development.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure your introduction provides an overview of the topic and the main points you will cover, while your conclusion should summarize your main arguments and provide a final thought.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumer culture
leisure activity
technological advancements
online shopping
mobile apps
virtual reality
engaging and interactive
disposable incomes
non-essential items
marketing strategies
aggressive advertising
retailers
in-store events
sales promotions
social interaction
multifunctional destination
psychological satisfaction
emotional gratification
self-esteem
stress relief

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