Write about the following topic: In many parts of the world, shopping is no longer a way that people buy things that they need, and it has been developed into a form of entertainment. What are the reasons for this development? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #parts #world #people #form #entertainment #development

Shopping is a way

for

Change preposition

show examples

purchasing what we need. Nowadays

this

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

a form of hobby and people enjoy spending a considerable quantity of time shopping. The reasons for

this

issue are a more affordable condition of population, accessibility, and convenience to massive shopping centres. In my opinion, it has a positive effect.

Firstly

, the economic ability of the community increased

due to

higher income and salary of many different jobs. Establishments and private factories have rocketed their workforces' wages.

As a result

, they could purchase things that they could not afford before.

For example

, buying jewellery which was not possible for a medium-class family is possible now.

In addition

, the erection of a lot of massive shopping centres with spacious parking and varying numbers of state-of-the-art shops entice individuals to have at least window shopping and

then

high-grade it to pulse shopping.

According to

above-mentioned reasons, shopping has been changed from a day-to-day activity to a Routine entertainment. It provides a happy sense of achievement and fulfils the wasted time people and prepares their ability to spend their free time in modern shopping centres.

For instance

, a psychoanalysis report from the university centre showed that folks with 3 hours of shopping per week have a better level of happiness.

Therefore

, I

accord

Verb problem

agree

show examples

with the hugely positive effect of shopping customs. In conclusion, shopping is not only a habit for survival but

also

it could be as entertainment. The richness of the population and convenient access to shopping malls are the main reasons for increasing interest in it.

Submitted by dr.mansoori41 on Tue Feb 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your essay addresses the topic but lacks depth in addressing the reasons for the development of shopping as a form of entertainment. You could provide a deeper analysis and explore other factors contributing to this development.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure your introduction provides an overview of the topic and the main points you will cover, while your conclusion should summarize your main arguments and provide a final thought.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are those who take the stand that successful people result from them making effective plans, while others argue that other elements such as diligence and fortune are more vital. This essay will discuss both views and give my opinion.
4.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?
Although modern society requires human to become extremely busy, people are still fascinated with their houses, especially if the houses have a rich cultural history. Discoveries about our home rich background lead to a deeper connection with the location we live in, generating mental health benefits. This task has been made very easy with the arrival of the Internet.
7.5
band
Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that it is more advantageous to choose conventional learning even if we live in an era where online courses are easily accessible. While it is true that distance learning can provide flexibility and convenience, I completely agree with his opinion and think attending a university or college in person is more vital than learning through the Internet.
7
band
in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend sums of money on the construction of new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. other believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport
There is an ongoing argument between individuals about spending a large amount of money on building new railway lines extensively between cities or whether it is better to refine the current public transport. I believe that although some towns never have a railway, they have significant potential to attract tourists and additionally, advanced transport is a source of national income.
6.5
band
Rising university fees and limited employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and should only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is currently an ongoing discussion that derives from the increasingly high bills that universities charge to their pupils. However, claiming to remove art-related education would surely be a wrong approach to the issue.

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend sums of money on the construction of new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. other believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport