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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that hard work and dedication are essential for success. Others believe money and personal acceptance are more important

#people #work #dedication #success #money #acceptance
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It is certainly true that there are numerous factors behind every
success
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. Some
people
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 deem that hard
work
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 and persistence are the primary factors which help a person to achieve
success
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 but others argue that financial status and looks are more important. In my opinion, both views are valid as a combination of perseverance and
money
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 is needed to achieve
success
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.
People
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 have valid reasons to support the view that hard
work
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 and ambition are the main
key
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keys
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 to
success
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 in life.
Firstly
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, everyone has to do hard
work
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 to acquire knowledge and experience because one can receive
money
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 and support from
one’s
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 family but, to get experience and skills one has to make efforts on
one’s
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 own.
For instance
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, students have to study to pass the examinations; their parents cannot study on their behalf.
Secondly
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, no target can be achieved without determination because persistence is the key to victory. So, one must have
a
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apply
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strong
will power
Correct your spelling
willpower
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 to give
one’s
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 hundred
percent
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per cent
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 to a goal.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who advocate that good looks and
money
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 are important for
success
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 believe that good looks increase
one’s
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 confidence which is a predominant factor of
success
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. Nobody can accomplish even a small task
,
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apply
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 if they do not consider themselves capable.
Therefore
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, confidence is a must to win every race.
Apart from
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this
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,
money
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 is considered important because it provides initial support to start a career.
People
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 who are not financially secure / stable have to start things from scratch. In
this
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 way,
money
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 saves
time
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the time
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 and energy of initiators. To wrap up,
people
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 have to face so many difficulties to achieve
success
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 and not all problems can be tackled by
money
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 or hard
work
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 alone.
That is
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 why I think that all factors are important to be successful.
Submitted by yasmeen.almusllam00 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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