Some people say that travel helps us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home?
Some individuals state that
travel
assists us in appreciating other cultures
. This
essay will elaborate on how this
statement is true to a certain extent and how people who travel
a lot have a tendency to respect other cultures
more.
It is undeniable that journeys help society to cherish customs else than their own. When people get to see how differently the world functions in certain areas on the planet, they get the chance to understand traditions that might be considered odd to them in a new perspective. They get to see how colourful our planet is and bask in the variety of shades the world provides. Although
, going on frequent trips does not guarantee appreciation of other ways of living if the distance travelled is not far from home, because if those who Correct word choice
However
travel
only go to places near where they belong, then
the community they encounter won't
be much different from the one they are in. It wouldn't
open their eyes to what else this
planet has to offer. For instance
,if a person lives in Jakarta and makes trips often but only around the inside of Java, and never to other islands in Indonesia, then
they won't
understand customs outside of Java.
However
, it doesn't
mean those who don't
commute don't
appreciate other cultures
, for there are many factors that could help them too. For example
, if a person were to be raised in a family of mixed traditions, then
they would still be able to learn and develop admiration for how those different backgrounds operate.
In conclusion, it is true that voyages do help people cherish other cultures
, however
, it doesn't
mean much if they only ever travel
near home and not a far distance. However
, individuals who stay where they belong could also
learn to respect different customs from factors such
as mixed families, even if they don't
travel
often or at all.Submitted by ammarafaiqa on
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task response
To achieve a higher score, ensure that you provide a clear opinion throughout the essay. While the introduction briefly addresses the question, reinforcing your stance and elaborating further would offer a stronger argument.
coherence & cohesion
Include a wider range of linking phrases and discourse markers to aid in the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to strengthen the coherence of your essay.
task response
While some examples are provided, they are fairly generic. Consider providing more specific, detailed, and varied examples to support each point, ensuring that each example is fully developed and explained.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?