Some people say that travel helps us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home?

#people #travel #cultures #home

Some individuals state that

travel

assists us in appreciating other

cultures

This

essay will elaborate on how

this

statement is true to a certain extent and how people who

travel

a lot have a tendency to respect other

cultures

more. It is undeniable that journeys help society to cherish customs else than their own. When people get to see how differently the world functions in certain areas on the planet, they get the chance to understand traditions that might be considered odd to them in a new perspective. They get to see how colourful our planet is and bask in the variety of shades the world provides.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, going on frequent trips does not guarantee appreciation of other ways of living if the distance travelled is not far from home, because if those who

travel

only go to places near where they belong,

then

the community they encounter won'

be much different from the one they are in. It wouldn'

open their eyes to what else

this

planet has to offer.

For instance

,if a person lives in Jakarta and makes trips often but only around the inside of Java, and never to other islands in Indonesia,

then

they won'

understand customs outside of Java.

However

, it doesn'

mean those who don'

commute don'

appreciate other

cultures

, for there are many factors that could help them too.

For example

, if a person were to be raised in a family of mixed traditions,

then

they would still be able to learn and develop admiration for how those different backgrounds operate. In conclusion, it is true that voyages do help people cherish other

cultures

however

, it doesn'

mean much if they only ever

travel

near home and not a far distance.

However

, individuals who stay where they belong could

also

learn to respect different customs from factors

such

as mixed families, even if they don'

travel

often or at all.

Submitted by ammarafaiqa on Wed Jan 24 2024

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task response

To achieve a higher score, ensure that you provide a clear opinion throughout the essay. While the introduction briefly addresses the question, reinforcing your stance and elaborating further would offer a stronger argument.

coherence & cohesion

Include a wider range of linking phrases and discourse markers to aid in the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to strengthen the coherence of your essay.

task response

While some examples are provided, they are fairly generic. Consider providing more specific, detailed, and varied examples to support each point, ensuring that each example is fully developed and explained.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

exposes
directly
appreciate
appreciation
respect
open-mindedness
adaptability
navigate
social norms
lifestyles
diversity
interactions
stereotypes
preconceived notions
nuanced
shift attitudes
aesthetic
landscapes
architectures
engagement
superficial
commercialized
conscious
respectful

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Some people say that travel helps us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home?

Your opinion

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The problems caused by work-related stress (such as lack of productivity) have become a concern for both employers and workers. What do you think are the main causes of work- related stress and how they can be avoid?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures.

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?