There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Do you think the traditional music of a country is more important and should it be preserved or international music that is heard everywhere nowadays more useful to a society?
In
this
sophisticated era
Add a comma
,era
music
has become an important aspect in
human beings. Change preposition
of
People
use music
to express their feelings or to relieve their level of stress from work. In my point of view, although
modern music
has a benefit for people
nowadays, I believe it is also
important to keep traditional music
as a heritage from people
in the past.
Music
plays an important role for many people
due to
the expression of feelings and helps people
to maintain their mental health. People
in the past used music
in some celebrations. For instance
, muslim
used to play some drum Change the capitalization
Muslim
instrument
and sang salutations to celebrate the birth of their prophet. Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
Moreover
, some music
genres like R&B, rock, and classical affect people
's preferences to hear music
. They used to hear those kinds kind of music
in their leisure time or to relax after they did a job in the workplace. Thus
, music
has a crucial impact for
Change preposition
on
people
's life.
In addition
, despite people
today prefer to listen to modern music
, I believe traditional music
must be preserved due to
it represents history
of the cultures of Add an article
the history
a history
people
in the past. Modern music
gives a relax
sensation Change the form of the verb
relaxing
for
Change preposition
to
people
when they listen to it. However
, people
in the past have so many
traditional Correct quantifier usage
much
music
that must be considered Change to a plural noun
musics
to preserve
. Change the verb form
preserved
For instance
, Indonesia has many thrives and each of them have
Change the verb form
has
their
own Correct pronoun usage
its
cultures
because of that many Fix the agreement mistake
culture
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
interested
to come to Indonesia. If the Government did not preserve Add a missing verb
are interested
these
Correct determiner usage
this
culture
, Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
people
nowadays will do
not know about history. Unnecessary verb
apply
Hence
, government
should preserve the traditional Add an article
the government
music
To sum up
, some people
used music
in celebration and they listen to it to maintain their mental health after work. Although
people
today prefer to listen
modern Add the preposition
tolisten
music
, it is important for government
to keep their traditional Add an article
the government
music
as a heritage from people
in the past.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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