hese days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#hese #amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour

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It has been argued by many individuals that nowadays, t.v is creating a high level of violence and it puts an unfavourable effect on the way of behaving youngsters. I totally accord with

this

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given statement and

this

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essay shall shed light upon my perspective

along with

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a reasoned conclusion.

Firstly

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, the prominent reason behind my agreement is that children might indulge in bad company. when young commoners spent their precious time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching movies, songs and many more

things

Use synonyms

, they do the same

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

actors or actresses do in their acting.

Consequently

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, they may addicted

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show examples

alcohol, drugs, smoking and so on for showoff in the community.

For instance

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, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in (2015) China 65% of human beings were wasting their time

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apply

show examples

watching unnecessary videos, which have detrimental effects on children.

Secondly

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, humans might fall into financial crises. No doubt, the television represents the better advertisement which could beneficial for mankind,

whereas

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some

things

Use synonyms

it displays wrong products which are not only reckless goods that people spend their money on it but it may cause a bad effect on their bodies.

For example

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, it is published article by The Tribune newspaper showed that in India the sony t.v channel illustrates the advertisement of job opportunities there people expenditure their cash on it, but after a few days the company disappeared and more than 500 hundred population had debt of cash.

To conclude

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although

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television shows different types of the latest

things

Use synonyms

, with

this

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, children are taking the wrong

things

Use synonyms

and spending capital on advertising without thinking about which is good or bad.

Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on Wed Mar 01 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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hese days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the histrory of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that students of all grades should be required to study physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?