Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

alary is one of the ubiquitous topics of discussion globally, which entails numerous arguments.
While
a proportion of society believes that professional fields,
such
as medicine, engineering and teaching, should earn more than other entertainment toils, the remainder claims
otherwise
.
Nonetheless
, I disagree with the provided statement because all sorts of jobs require equal effort and,
therefore
, should be paid wisely.
This
essay delves into the reasons why no profession should be considered superior to others in terms of compensation
,
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and encompasses the rationale of employing fair payment methods. At the outset, the cornerstone of every thriving enterprise lies in the hard work done by the workforce. To elaborate on
this
point, all job employees, driven by the notion of success, strive hard to achieve the targeted purpose in their respective fields, thereby, every individual faces hardships, to some extent, in their toil journey which varies from the rest of the crowd.
For instance
, despite the disparities in activities and skills involved, time and effort invested by workers enrolled in these jobs weigh equally.
Thus
, owing to the peculiar stressful conditions present in all sorts of tasks, it is essential to consider all these parameters and pay the workers circumstantially.
Furthermore
, all working fields are the building blocks of the society.
In other words
, even though the nature of the tasks involved is unique, they have a pivotal role in sustaining the community.
For example
, on the one hand, several jobs intend to cultivate individuals professionally and fortify their persona,
while
other toils provide breaks for leisure and relaxation.
Hence
,
it is clear that
employments worldwide are the crucial components that serve societies in certain ways.
To conclude
, professions function differently from one another,
nevertheless
,
instead
of aiming for a particular salary, every worker deserves to be paid
according to
the effort, time and nature of work performed.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task achievement
Your essay does provide a clear position in response to the question, and your argument is generally relevant to the task. However, more specific and relevant examples would strengthen your ideas and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay maintains coherence, some transitions between ideas can be made smoother. Introducing linking words and phrases can enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down complex sentences for clarity. While the vocabulary and grammar usage are satisfactory, simplifying certain parts can help avoid potential confusion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly outline your perspective and summary.
task achievement
The essay showcases a good understanding of the topic, and your main points are generally well-presented and relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional workers
  • Societal contribution
  • Scarcity
  • Market forces
  • Consumer demand
  • Role models
  • Economic impact
  • Revenue generation
  • Fair compensation
  • Social equity
  • Intrinsic rewards
  • Job satisfaction
  • Media rights
  • Merchandise sales
  • Public figures
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