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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart shows requests for information at a tourist office in the United Kingdom from January to June.

The chart shows requests for information at a tourist office in the United Kingdom from January to June.
#requests #information #tourist #office #kingdom #january #june
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The line graph illustrates the number of inquiries of
information
Use synonyms
 in the half year that the
tourist
Use synonyms
office
Use synonyms
 of the United Kingdom gets in three different ways.
Overall
Linking Words
, two of the three ways of getting
information
Use synonyms
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 in person and by
telephone
Use synonyms
 have a similar
trend
Use synonyms
 and become popular
while
Linking Words
 the other one, namely via letter/email, began to be abandoned. In the first month of the year, most
tourists
Use synonyms
 which are around 900 travellers in the
UK
Use synonyms
 ask for
tourist
Use synonyms
information
Use synonyms
 from the
UK
Use synonyms
tourist
Use synonyms
office
Use synonyms
 via
telephone
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 only about 750
tourists
Use synonyms
 get
information
Use synonyms
 from email/letter, and
then
Linking Words
 only less than 500
UK
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 get
information
Use synonyms
 when they visit the
tourist
Use synonyms
office
Use synonyms
 and asking in person. In February, the
tourist
Use synonyms
 who asked via letter or email, and
telephone
Use synonyms
 slightly decrease to around 800 and 700 respectively. The number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who inquired about that
office
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically until the end of the period which reaches more than 1800 and become the most popular. The same
trend
Use synonyms
 is shown by
telephone
Use synonyms
, even though between March and April the
trend
Use synonyms
 remains stable at 1000 and continues to rise significantly until 1600 in June.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of travellers who want to get
information
Use synonyms
 about
tourist
Use synonyms
 activities in the
UK
Use synonyms
 illustrates a negative
trend
Use synonyms
 which is around 750 in January and gradually drops to about 700 in march and
then
Linking Words
 continues to go down significantly to just under 400 until the next month.
Submitted by rahmad.iriyandi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words information, tourist, office, telephone, trend, tourists, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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