IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society
Nowadays, social media has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 adverse effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society and particular individuals.I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
complete
Change preposition
in complete
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 agreement with
this
 opinion
due to
 social media will bring some unhealthy
addiction
Fix the agreement mistake
addictions
show examples
 and separate
people
 in society.
Firstly
, the effect of social media has had some advantages for each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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.
For instance
 :
people
 who
lives
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live
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 in other country are used
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
sites
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as Instagram ,Telegram,
Facebook
Correct word choice
and Facebook
show examples
.
People
 had the chance to meet or communicate with anyone outside or with
near
Add an article
a near
the near
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
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of
Change preposition
in
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community
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the community
show examples
.
Secondly
 , on
web
Correct your spelling
websites
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sites
Add a comma
,sites
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 we can see
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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chatting groups which offer
people
 to chance to meet and participate in discussions with
people
 who share
common
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a common
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interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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.
Thirdly
 , the effect that social networking
sites
 have had on societies can only be seen as negative.Most
people
 are choosing to take more interest in
people
 online.
In addition
, the
community
 are no longer forming
close
Add an article
a close
show examples
 or supportive relationship.They spend more time online with
people
 they have never met face to face in the real life . In conclusion, social networking
sites
 have brought
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 closer but the local
community
 should do more
invole
Correct your spelling
involve
people
 in local activities in order to enhance
community
 life.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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