IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
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The bar chart illustrates the
Use synonyms
families
Change noun form
family's
families'
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 expenditures of their weekly income in a country between 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, their spending in almost all units changed
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
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the period
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, food was the highest item that
families
Use synonyms
 spent on their weekly income at the beginning of
period
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the period
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,
while
Linking Words
 leisure replaced it
at the end
Linking Words
. Having stood at 35% of weekly income in 1968, the percentage of
families
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 spending on food was the most favourable one, followed by that of housing and clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, at 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, other sectors were roughly under 9%. In 2018, despite having
at
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apply
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almost 9%
in
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at
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 the beginning of the year, the proportion of
Use synonyms
families
Change noun form
families'
family's
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 expenditures on leisure outnumbered other types, peaking at about 23% of
weekly
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the weekly
a weekly
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 wage.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the intensity of
families
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 spending on transport and housing increased dramatically, almost doubling.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
families
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 spent on fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, and personal goods decreased in
this
Linking Words
 year, accounting for under 5%,
while
Linking Words
 that of household goods remained stable during the periods.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, in addition, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words families with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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