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Band 8

Water use should be strictly controlled by government. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#water #government
Some suggest that governments should regulate
water
use
 strictly. I,
however
, do not share the same view, as I believe that authorities should inform the public about the consequences of using it carelessly and reward those managing to conserve it at home. First and foremost, to save
water
, it would be better if authorities educated
people
 about
water
 usage
instead
 of setting limits for
water
 consumption. More precisely, governments should make
people
 aware that
water
 is not an unlimited resource and what would happen if
people
 utilized it inattentively by organizing gatherings intended to save
water
. Doing
this
 can encourage
people
 not only to stop wasting
water
 but
also
 to start using it economically and inform others about the negative consequences of misspending it.
As a result
,
people
 may
use
water
 efficiently.
Secondly
, rewarding
people
 for preserving
water
 is another way to regulate
water
 utilization.
In other words
, it would be better to give an award to those saving
water
 rather than punish everyone with
water
 restrictions.
This
 is
due to
 that there can be individuals wasting
water
 because they think there is no point in saving it.
This
 can lead those
people
 to start conserving
water
 to earn money or get an award, as there are many simple ways of doing
this
.
For example
, individuals may turn off the tap when
water
 is being utilized for nothing or may
use
 smart appliances.
As a consequence
,
water
 usage can be regulated. All things considered,
while
 some argue that officials should control how
people
use
water
 severely, I assert that they should notify individuals about how to employ and reward
people
 for preserving
water
.
Submitted by minimix1203 on

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task achievement
Ensure you address counterarguments more explicitly where appropriate. This adds more depth to the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to enhance the overall readability and interest of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, making your viewpoint evident and well-explained.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have effectively supported your main points with relevant and specific examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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