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Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #school #teachers #influence #parents #development
In
this
 contemporary epoch,Once
pupils
 begin tutor,mentors should have more influence rather than guardians on their intellectual and social development.I agree with
this
 mentioned phenomenon.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 will be discussed in an upcoming paragraph with a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence of
this
 view which are substantial.The first and foremost reason is learners spend more
time
 in institutes with their
teachers
instead
 of spending
time
 with their
parents
 so in
this
 case tutors have more influence on
scion's
Change the noun form
scions
scion
show examples
 on their intellectual and social development.Adding more to it when the
children
 begin learning institute
teachers
 have to take responsibility for offspring to teach them manners and discipline.,
Additionally
 they can learn how to do well behave in front of their elders or younger. Probing ahead,
while
 learning
teachers
 taught many things to
pupils
such
 as they motivate
children
 to participate in sports,painting or so many indoor and outdoor activities
hence
 they can enhance their knowledge and skill
as well as
 live stressless life in
this
 modern society.
Moreover
,Mentors are the first mother and fathers who taught learners how to read and write and
also
 they can encourage them to get an excellent
gdp
Correct your spelling
GDP
 in exams.,
Initially
 they
also
 taught them about life and world things.
However
,
parents
 are so busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their jobs and business
so
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 the guardians
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not have much
time
 to spend
time
 with their
pupils
 and teach them.At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present
days
Add a comma
,days
show examples
 some
parents
also
 hired
nanny's
Change the noun form
nannies
nanny
show examples
 to take care of their
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 as they are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their jobs so,the schools are only the way where
pupils
 learn and spend more
time
 with their mentors. In conclusion,
according to
 my ,opinion
teachers
 are the first
parents
 of the tutors who taught them a lot of things
while
 there are studying.
However
,guardians are not a take
such
 role to teach their
children
 in real life.
Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Structured learning environment
  • Cognitive skills
  • Social interactions
  • Pedagogical techniques
  • Moral values
  • Emotional well-being
  • Complementary roles
  • Academic and social education
  • Individualized attention
  • Life skills training
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