Peers in school have more impact than
parents
on a Use synonyms
child
’s success. Personally, I think that Use synonyms
child
spends more time with their friends in school and it has a matter on Use synonyms
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
behavior
. In the paragraphs Change the spelling
behaviour
underneath
, Rephrase
below
this
essay shall Linking Words
see
my thoughts.
There are several reasons why I support Verb problem
show
this
point of view. Linking Words
First,
there is Linking Words
this
quote: "Surround yourself only with those who will lift you higher" and it means that you are affected by your surroundings. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
businessman
has two peers and they are stronger than him. It will be useful to himAdd an article
the businessman
a businessman
,
because he will progress with friends’ Remove the comma
apply
advices
. Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
In contrast
, If his friends are not businessmen, he will regress and Linking Words
does
not develop. Unnecessary verb
apply
Secondly
, children spend a lot of time together in school. They have Linking Words
same
ages, interests and homework, Correct article usage
the same
Linking Words
as
a result, it makes them closer. To illustrate, in the new system of education, students need to co-operate to get good marks and Correct word choice
and as
this
Linking Words
also
brings them closer.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, youngsters tend to copy each other’s habits and manners. To give an example, when I was 7 grader, I had a friend and he did not care about marks. After Linking Words
few
months, his grades Correct article usage
a few
were
improved, because we started doing homework together. Unnecessary verb
apply
In addition
, Linking Words
Use synonyms
child
may learn some bad habits from his classmates and it can annoy their Add an article
the child
a child
parents
. Use synonyms
However
, if Linking Words
parents
play the main role Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
child’s
life, Correct article usage
a child’s
Use synonyms
child
does not follow Add an article
the child
a child
bad
guys. Correct article usage
the bad
Therefore
, Linking Words
parents
should try to Use synonyms
effect
on youth’s life.
In conclusion, there are two main influencers on adolescent’s existence. But, I believe that peers have more influence on youth’s success and Correct your spelling
affect
parents
should choose surrounding for their Use synonyms
child
.Use synonyms
Deadline 8th April IELTS