Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Peers in school have more impact than
parents
on a
child
’s success. Personally, I think that
child
spends more time with their friends in school and it has a matter on
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. In the paragraphs
underneath
Rephrase
below
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,
this
essay shall
see
Verb problem
show
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my thoughts. There are several reasons why I support
this
point of view.
First,
there is
this
quote: "Surround yourself only with those who will lift you higher" and it means that you are affected by your surroundings.
For instance
,
businessman
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the businessman
a businessman
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has two peers and they are stronger than him. It will be useful to him
,
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apply
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because he will progress with friends’
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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.
In contrast
, If his friends are not businessmen, he will regress and
does
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apply
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not develop.
Secondly
, children spend a lot of time together in school. They have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
ages, interests and homework,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result, it makes them closer. To illustrate, in the new system of education, students need to co-operate to get good marks and
this
also
brings them closer.
Furthermore
, youngsters tend to copy each other’s habits and manners. To give an example, when I was 7 grader, I had a friend and he did not care about marks. After
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
months, his grades
were
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apply
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improved, because we started doing homework together.
In addition
,
child
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the child
a child
show examples
may learn some bad habits from his classmates and it can annoy their
parents
.
However
, if
parents
play the main role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
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life,
child
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the child
a child
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does not follow
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
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guys.
Therefore
,
parents
should try to
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on youth’s life. In conclusion, there are two main influencers on adolescent’s existence. But, I believe that peers have more influence on youth’s success and
parents
should choose surrounding for their
child
.
Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has some structural issues affecting coherence and cohesion. It lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas are not clearly connected and the essay does not flow smoothly from one point to the next. The essay needs better organization of ideas and clearer transitions between paragraphs.
task response
The response to the task is incomplete. While the writer expresses an opinion, the essay lacks depth and fails to address the task comprehensively. The supporting examples are not specific or relevant enough, and the explanations lack clarity. The points made are not fully developed, and the essay would benefit from a more thorough exploration of the topic.

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