Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#classmates #influence #parents #child’s #success #school #support

Peers in school have more impact than

parents

on a

child

’s success. Personally, I think that

child

spends more time with their friends in school and it has a matter on

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In the paragraphs

underneath

Rephrase

below

show examples

this

essay shall

see

Verb problem

show

show examples

my thoughts. There are several reasons why I support

this

point of view.

First,

there is

this

quote: "Surround yourself only with those who will lift you higher" and it means that you are affected by your surroundings.

For instance

businessman

Add an article

the businessman

a businessman

show examples

has two peers and they are stronger than him. It will be useful to him

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because he will progress with friends’

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

In contrast

, If his friends are not businessmen, he will regress and

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not develop.

Secondly

, children spend a lot of time together in school. They have

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

ages, interests and homework,

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, it makes them closer. To illustrate, in the new system of education, students need to co-operate to get good marks and

this

also

brings them closer.

Furthermore

, youngsters tend to copy each other’s habits and manners. To give an example, when I was 7 grader, I had a friend and he did not care about marks. After

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

months, his grades

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

improved, because we started doing homework together.

In addition

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

may learn some bad habits from his classmates and it can annoy their

parents

However

, if

parents

play the main role

Change preposition

show examples

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

life,

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

does not follow

bad

Correct article usage

the bad

show examples

guys.

Therefore

parents

should try to

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

on youth’s life. In conclusion, there are two main influencers on adolescent’s existence. But, I believe that peers have more influence on youth’s success and

parents

should choose surrounding for their

child

Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS on Wed Mar 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has some structural issues affecting coherence and cohesion. It lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas are not clearly connected and the essay does not flow smoothly from one point to the next. The essay needs better organization of ideas and clearer transitions between paragraphs.

task response

The response to the task is incomplete. While the writer expresses an opinion, the essay lacks depth and fails to address the task comprehensively. The supporting examples are not specific or relevant enough, and the explanations lack clarity. The points made are not fully developed, and the essay would benefit from a more thorough exploration of the topic.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays many elderly people live alone and this can cause a variety of problems for society. What are some of these problems and what solutions can you suggest?

A large emphasis is given to the education in young generation.Government covers all of the free educational activities to what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.