IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Companies are responsible only for making money for their investors. Therefore, they should not be held accountable for the environmental and social costs of their business activity to society as a whole. Businesses should do no more than concentrate on making profit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people argue that
companies
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 are solely responsible for maximising profits for their investors , and they are not accountable for the social and environmental consequences caused by their business activities. In my opinion, I firmly disagree with
this
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 statement as it imposes a great threat on environmental degradation and social inequality.
This
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 essay will discuss my views with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, business operators hold a significant responsibility in preventing the environmental impacts caused by their activities.
That is
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 to say that if they are not held responsible for their actions, the industrial wastes that are exposed to land, water, and air could cause serious environmental pollution because many factories rely on fossil fuels for their production and supply.
As a result
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, a higher proportion of gases
such
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 as methane and carbon dioxide will be released to the atmosphere, which causes serious health concerns
such
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 as asthma and respiratory-related problems.
For example
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, in Bhutan, the land waste that was released by the clothing
companies
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 posed a potential threat to livestock located in the surrounding areas.
Furthermore
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,
companies
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 may choose a low labour workforce to maximise their profits. Many industries hire people for low wages by providing poor working conditions, which leads to financial insecurity and low living standards. Without making
such
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 sectors liable for their actions, it is highly impossible to manage the social inequality issue, which contributes to societal stress.
For instance
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, in India, Information technology
companies
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 outsource their projects to other countries like the Philippines , as the currency rate is significantly lower than in India, to increase profits.
Therefore
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, the unemployment rate is accelerating at an alarming rate. In conclusion,
although
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 there are differing opinions about the liabilities of
companies
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 on social and environmental aspects. In my opinion, the government should hold them responsible for their actions , considering the impacts on environmental degradation and social inequality.

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tip
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it clear throughout.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start each with a short topic sentence.
content
Explain each point with a simple example that fits the point.
strength
The writer shows a clear position and gives a plan.
strength
Introduction and conclusion are present.
strength
Basic linking is used to show reasons.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • shareholders
  • wider communities
  • long-term detriments
  • ethical practices
  • sustainable practices
  • social welfare programs
  • brand image
  • customer loyalty
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • sustainable growth
  • government regulations
  • consumer pressure
  • environmental and social accountability
  • business models
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