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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that of controlling
school
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uniforms
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 and the appearance of their pupils. It is undeniable
school
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uniforms
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 have become an essential part of
school
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.
However
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, there is no absolute agreement on
this
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 issue, as some
people
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 find wearing a comfortable dress code beneficial,
while
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 others consider it unnecessary and harmful for
school
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. Surely, there are both pros and cons to
this
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, but I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main positives of wearing
school
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uniforms
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 is that young
people
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 have to be disciplined, with the help of
uniforms
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 make their responsibility and rely on
school
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 rules.
School
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uniforms
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 play a crucial role in the
school
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. Children
start
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started
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 to feel when they wore
school
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uniforms
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 as students and one had to study at
school
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. Another advantage is that youngsters will not distracted by clothes.
School
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 is for study, not for fashion. Youth when wearing
school
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uniforms
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, will not compare with other students.
Also
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, it increases their quality of education and focus on their study. Turning to the other side of the argument is that young
people
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 have to feel comfortable at
school
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. A free dress code helps to feel enjoyable during lessons.
For example
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, some students hate
school
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uniforms
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due to
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 sweat. It impacts negatively on the relationship to
school
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uniforms
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. Another major disadvantage is that
school
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uniforms
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 are not for freezing weather. Sometimes,
people
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 face issues when outside freezing.
Furthermore
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, children receive illnesses that influence their health
due to
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 their clothes is not warm.
This
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 leads detrimentally to a child's future. Having everything mentioned, we can come to the conclusion that
school
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uniforms
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 enhance the quality of education and discipline, A balance between
school
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uniforms
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 and dress codes will be a beneficial idea for solving issue

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, but could be more concise. Try to make a more straightforward statement about the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, while your points are valid, they could be supported with more specific examples or deeper explanations. This would strengthen your arguments significantly.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion should briefly summarize your key points without introducing new ideas. The statement about balancing uniforms and dress codes feels a bit abrupt. Consider refining it for clarity.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion at the start of the essay, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant arguments about the importance of discipline and focus in school environments, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • bullying
  • socio-economic differences
  • school spirit
  • unity
  • discipline
  • belonging
  • self-expression
  • individuality
  • personal development
  • fashion-related distractions
  • academic performance
  • morning routine
  • comfort
  • financial burden
  • cultural differences
  • diverse backgrounds
What to do next:
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