The government should control the amount of violence in films and on TV in order to reduce the amount of violent crimes in the society. Do you agree or disagree?

The authorities should control the majority of violence in movies and on television in order to decrease the number of
crimes
in society. I strongly disagree with the given statement.
However
, I will discuss the reasons in the upcoming paragraph and will lead to a logical conclusion. It can be seen that nowadays people often commit
crimes
which are very dangerous for human beings to survive in their own society.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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need to launch low for
this
rather than ban violent
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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shows.
Secondly
, authorities have the power to control
crimes
if they give high punishments to criminals.
For instance
, my aunt was going to buy groceries at to market
suddenly
Rephrase
when
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a thief stole her gold jewellery on the street which is very shameful for other people who did not
Fadded
Correct your spelling
Find
a thief.
Thus
, the government should need to reduce crime on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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basis.
On the other hand
, violent programs
also
have many drawbacks.
Firstly
it affects
children
's health
as well as
the brain because by observing others
children
develop many things and try on others.
In other words
, nowadays in ,movies many scenes are just horrible
such
as firing, rape and so on. To quote an example, these days
children
think that it is a trend to commit
crimes
they do
this
at school by disrespecting their tutors and harming classmates.
As a result
, films are a source of entertainment but these days they become dangerous. In conclusion,
although
,
According to
the argument aforementioned above it is seen that
children
and others are obsessed with violent programs
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the government should
need to
Verb problem
apply
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remove
crimes
first from society and after that take time on television programs.
Submitted by prabhjotsingh2170 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more comprehensive and directly related to the topic. Provide relevant specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Although your essay presents your view on the topic, it lacks full development of ideas and could benefit from a more comprehensive response. Make sure to clearly and thoroughly address all aspects of the task and provide more relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulate
  • Desensitization
  • Censorship
  • Impressionable
  • Exposure
  • Violent behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Preventive measures
  • Artistic freedom
  • Vulnerable
  • Ethical concerns
  • Monitoring
  • Influence
  • Content control
  • Crime reduction
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