IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries invest in specialized sports facilities for top athletes but not for the average people. Is this a positive or negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Over the past few decades, there
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a significant growth in the
sports
Use synonyms
 field. It is a common public opinion that, the well-equipped
sports
Use synonyms
 hub is only for top athletes, not for ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 in some nations. I vehemently say that it is a negative development.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain my opinion in detail.
Body · 1
In the modern era, countries are funding huge amounts for
sports
Use synonyms
 facilities and renowned
sports
Use synonyms
 persons. Everyone is paying tax for a single item and has equal rights in the nation. In India,
For instance
Linking Words
, many international stadiums are only allocated for famous sportspeople. No permission was granted to the local
people
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, there is no growth for ordinary
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the Government spends a
high
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount on
sports
Use synonyms
 equipment and maintenance of the
sports
Use synonyms
 centre. At least they could have spent half the amount to construct a special pathway on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 for local
people
Use synonyms
, those who are doing their daily routines
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 running and walking daily for their fitness.
For example
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 decided to start running every morning but that decision
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 me frustrated because the special running ring was covered by a soft sheet only for special
sports
Use synonyms
 persons.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 top athletes
are representing
Wrong verb form
represent
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
 so they have some additional
privilege
Fix the agreement mistake
privileges
show examples
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. The government already paying a huge amount in the form of salaries.
Then
Linking Words
 again why additional benefits
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 They are the ones
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 get
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 remuneration than any other professional. To cite an example, India is a developing
country
Use synonyms
, But still, they are paying
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 salaries to cricketers than any other developed
country
Use synonyms
 offers to their sportsperson.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
 is a negative development for ordinary
people
Use synonyms
. because the government is not offering anything to them.
This
Linking Words
 will affect the
country
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly address the prompt. Develop a stronger thesis statement and provide a more balanced view of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay by having a clear introduction, body paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and a conclusion. Use transition words to connect ideas more effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: