IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES.

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh
Definitely,it is true to say that in a few ,nations a large number of mature individuals looking to live with their nurture even with finishing their studies and pursuing jobs.In my opinion,
this
 trend has some disadvantages but it has much more advantages. primary,many adults these days are forgotten their
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
 in order to get a victorious carrier in their life and
parents
 have to suffer a lot
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
 CHANGE THE DETERMINER
this
 problem these problems It appears that the plural demonstrative
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is modifying the singular noun problem. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun
instead
. show examples in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age.
For example
 in the modern1 era many people old people have to choose
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
 age orphanage to survive
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of life.and
thus
,if youngsters can do their work in
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 home town
then
 they absolutely help to improve the
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of their
parents
.
moreover
,
parents
also
 aids to teach and care our own children when we are busy in our works and which helps children for learning some important skills and behaviour from their
grand
Correct your spelling
grandparents
show examples
parents
. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that living with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parent has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
significant advantages but nowadays money is
also
 very vital to reside and many people leave their job
due to
 the fact that they want to live with their family and
such
 type of decision create difficulties to make the money
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 a job.
Furthermore
,disputes after
marraige
Correct your spelling
marriage
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 the family
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 quite often nowadays
therefore
 many masses try to live in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 place from their hometown after their marriage in order to maintain
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good relations with their family. In conclusion,
although
 living with
mother
Correct article usage
a mother
show examples
 and father create certain problems but advantages
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living with them has far more than
disadvantage
Add an article
a disadvantage
show examples
.
Submitted by anksah2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: