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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows monthly retail sales of different kinds of the stores in the USA last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reportign the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows monthly retail sales of different kinds of the stores in the USA last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reportign the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#sales #kinds #stores #usa #year #summarise #information #reportign #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the previous
year
Use synonyms
 how much
millions
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 of dollars
spent
Add a missing verb
were spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 retail sales of
hobby
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,
shoe
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
book
Correct your spelling
bookstores
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Shoe
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 were the leader
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sales
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 and
hobby
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 were the
second
Use synonyms
 one
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
year
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.
Use synonyms
Book
Correct your spelling
Bookstores
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 were the
second
Use synonyms
 one at the beginning and in the middle of the
year
Use synonyms
 but over time
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 fell down to the third position. In the first half of the
year
Use synonyms
,
Shoe
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 had a huge lead on the market with nearly 3000
Use synonyms
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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dollars.
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Book
Correct your spelling
Bookstores
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 started in the
second
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 position with over 1000
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and
goes
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go
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 down to nearly 500
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in February. Meanwhile,
hobby
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stores
Use synonyms
 continue steadily. In the
second
Use synonyms
 half of the
year
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,
Shoe
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stores
Use synonyms
 had a huge increase between July and August. It went up to over 3500 million at
this
Linking Words
 time.
Than
Replace the word
Then
show examples
 it had a huge crush
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the next month after that it reached
peek
Correct your spelling
peak
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
year
Use synonyms
 with nearly 4000 million.
Hobby
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stores
Use synonyms
 had a surge in
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
 and over doubled
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Book
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 had
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
July and after it goes down to the same level as before.
Submitted by erenar3 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, millions, hobby, shoe, book, stores, second with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "goes down" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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