Some people think that parents who teach children how to good members of society others however believe that school is the place to learn this. discuss both views and give your own pinion

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place #pinion

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In the present age, whether

parents

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educate children better than schools has sparked much debate. Some people assert that educational institutions have better educational achievements,

whereas

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many others argue that

parents

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offer students better social skills for their future. Personally, I am in favour of the latter view. Convincing arguments can be made that

parents

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have a crucial role in students’ behaviour. To start with,

parents

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are the offspring's first teachers.

For example

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, a child starts to imitate his father or mother since he understands his environment.

In other words

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, pupils’ characteristics

build

Wrong verb form

are built

show examples

in the house under their

parents

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' observation.

Moreover

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offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

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spend the majority of their time at home;

therefore

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, they learn courtesy and social skills from their immediate family.

For instance

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parents

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remind their sons or

daughter

Fix the agreement mistake

daughters

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to say hi, when they enter the community and

also

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warn them to avoid disruptive manners.

Lastly

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, children have a strong bond with their family unconsciously;

as a result

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, they desire to be like their

parents

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For example

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, fathers are all little boys' and girls' heroes, and they like to step into their father's shoes someday. Admittedly, teachers in school have a great influence on apprentices.

This

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is because students are afraid of their mentor’s punishment;

therefore

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, they prefer to obey tutors and behave politely in school.

In other words

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, trainers can discipline students strictly. Even so,

this

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behaviour may

restrict

Wrong verb form

be restricted

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to school merely because of their fear of punishment.

Consequently

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, they may not necessarily be good members of society in the future. In summary, I would concede that schools have some advantages and educate trainees. Despite that,

parents

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educate children in a much better way.

Overall

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, I am convinced that families teach good manners better than instructors.

Submitted by Babak.ghassemi.9 on Thu Mar 02 2023

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language

Work on enhancing the complexity and variety of sentence structures. Using a mix of short and long sentences can create a more engaging and dynamic essay.

cohesion

Try using transition words more effectively to create an even smoother flow of ideas across different paragraphs.

task

The essay presents a clear position and provides a comprehensive response to both aspects of the question, clearly explaining both viewpoints before giving the writer's opinion.

coherence

Logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both views, and a conclusion that reiterates the writer's opinion.

cohesion

The use of varied examples to support main points enhances the effectiveness of the argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Some people think that parents who teach children how to good members of society others however believe that school is the place to learn this. discuss both views and give your own pinion

Some people think it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty. What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?