IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
As
government
 holds funds for every citizen in a
nation
 it is their obligation to understand the rudiments of good and bad investments. Some
people
 believe contributing to the cultural part of a
country
 is important,
while
 others believe that
government
 should spend money on other public sectors
such
 as education and health. I agree with the former statement. In
this
 essay, I will explore how education creates a developed
country
 and why arts, music and theatre are a core part of a
country
.
To begin
 with, the education system assists to build a prosperous
nation
 with financial stability.
This
 is because less knowledgeable
people
 will be a burden for a
country
, which is why contributions are vital in
this
 sector.
For example
, Tunisia has a high level of illiterate
people
, which creates hindrances in their economic growth.
Therefore
 the
government
 of Tunisia should ensure more funding in
this
 sector.
However
, there are plenty of organizations who are eager to invest in
this
 area,
whereas
 there are limited sources to find contributions to the arts, music and theatre.
On the other hand
, culture is an integral part of a
country
 because it represents a
nation
 to the whole world
as well as
 promote the outer world about cultures and taste.
For instance
, Mexico has a rich culture, where its music and arts are renowned by every
nation
.
This
 is pivotal for the authority of a
country
 to make a contribution to
this
 region. In conclusion, some
people
 believe that
government
 should fund the public sector as it contributes to economic stability,
although
 I argue that
government
 should spend on cultural factors because its the core of a
country
.
Submitted by yalidamanapp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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