The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
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The following diagram demonstrates the manufacturing of
sugar
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from
sugar
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cane. These are seven stages (growing, harvesting, crushing, purifying juice, evaporator, centrifuge, drying and cooling).
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
process has been done by hand and machine.
Firstly
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,
sugar
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can depend on the weather and farmers' methods have been growing between 12 and 18 months. After that, the grown
sugar
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has been harvested by farmers or machines depending on small-scale or large-scale.
The next
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step
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is crushing and producing juice and
then
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filtering by purifying. The 5th
step
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has used an evaporator which needs heating to become syrup.
The next
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step
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is a centrifuge which is separated
sugar
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from syrup. The
last
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step
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is drying and cooling the
sugar
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.
Submitted by Niyoshakhalili on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "the next step is".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, step with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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