Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and the this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Governments
commonly have Add an article
a budget
the budget
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
on
the Change preposition
for
arts
in contemporary society. There are different views about whether they need spend
their expense on the Fix the infinitive
to spend
arts
or they should use it on
different areas. I partially Change preposition
in
agree
the idea that Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
the
Correct article usage
apply
governments
should lessen the expenditure on arts
and will explain reasons why I support this
idea.
First of all, the government
can spend more money
on Add an article
the area
an area
area
from which people can equally receive benefits. Since education is required by all citizens, the Fix the agreement mistake
areas
government
can backing
more intensively. If the Replace the word
back
government
spend more money
on training teachers, materials that are used in classes and educational facilities, people are able to acquire better education, which causes bottom
Correct article usage
the bottom
up
of people’s educational levels. Change preposition
apply
In addition
, the
Correct article usage
apply
governments
can support families depending on their income. Some people including single parent
struggle with handling their lives because of commitments Fix the agreement mistake
parents
such
as rearing children, working and looking after their parents.
Despite of
the fact that there are various areas on which the Change preposition
apply
government
should spend money
, they also
need to spend money
on the arts
. Arts
often have strong
connection with cultures. the Add an article
a strong
governments
have responsibilities
for protecting themFix the agreement mistake
responsibility
,
because it results in protecting their cultures. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, aboriginal arts
in Australia have tight
connection between people’s lives and history. it the Add an article
a tight
government
does not spend enough money
on supporting in
protecting and developing them, their Change preposition
apply
arts
will disappear.
In conclusion, whether the Fix the agreement mistake
art
government
should spend money
on arts
or not is unclear. Although
arts
need to be financially supported by the government
, I think the government
should organize their budget and spend more money
on other areas.Submitted by middy.fukuta on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite