IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Fossil fuels coal oil and natural gases are the main sources in many countries but some countries the use of alternative sources of energy wind energy solar energy are encouraged. to what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development.

#fuels #oil #gases #sources #countries #alternative #energy #wind #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, some countries produce the
energy
 that they need from fossil
fuels
such
 as coal petrol, and natural gas;
however
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other countries encourage to use the of renewable
energy
. In my opinion, it is a positive happening owing to the fact that the amount of not only air but
also
 ocean pollution is reduced by
this
 development. On the one hand, when we are generating
energy
 from fossil
fuels
, we produce a lot of toxic gases that have a negative impact on both global inhabitants' health and the environment.
In other words
, a lot of cancer and breathing illnesses;
additionally
, acid rain, wild animals dying and so forth are a consequence of the generation of
energy
 power from fossil
fuels
 inasmuch as they manufacture a range of harmful gases
such
 as SO2, H2S, and so on.
In contrast
, generating electricity from solar or wind does not generate a number of toxic elements, and they are a clean type of generation power.
On the other hand
,fossil
fuels
 impact the aquatics on account of the fact that most of the time, tools that extract fossil
fuels
 leak a large majority of oil into the ocean ;
furthermore
, these sources are carried by ships, which generate a lot of pollution,
while
 the renewable
energy
 does not generate a range of pollution on the oceans.
To sum up
, I believe that using not only solar but
also
 wind
energy
 has several benefits for the environment to be clean and people to have healthy lifestyles and fresh air.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points when discussing renewable energy and its impacts. For example, mention specific countries successfully using solar or wind energy, or statistical data on pollution reduction.
logical structure
Maintain clarity by ensuring each paragraph presents one main idea. This will enhance the readability and flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents a clear stand that renewable energy is a positive development.
supported main points
The essay effectively discusses two major areas: the impact on air quality and the impact on aquatic life.
logical structure
There is a logical sequence to the essay, starting with discussing the benefits to air quality and following with benefits to aquatic environments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: