IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, many people are not taking care of their elderly relatives, but seeking help from professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive development or a negative development?

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It is often argued by numerous people that there should be
professionals
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 to take
care
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 of our older or
aging
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ageing
show examples
 relatives.
Although
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 there are some advantages associated with
this
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 development, they are clearly outweighed by the enormity of
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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.
This
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 discourse ahead will arrive at a logical conclusion after having critically examined the good and bad related to
this
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 development. The major benefit of hiring a professional to take
care
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 of the elderly is their discipline and years of experience. It is an irrefutable fact that
professionals
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 have teams and systems in place that could make charts entailing food intake, walking minutes, medicine intake time, etcetera, which is important for the
well being
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well-being
show examples
 of our relatives.
This
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 discipline is not easy to deploy accurately.
On the other hand
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, there are some negatives to leaving the
care
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 of our
aging
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ageing
show examples
 family
members
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 to a professional. The first and foremost downside is a lack of personal touch. It is undeniably true that
professionals
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 will take
care
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 of
aging
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ageing
show examples
members
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 like a duty or like a job, which won't be the case if they are taken
care
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 of by family
members
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.
As a result
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, the quality of
care
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 could be improved. To exemplify, as per
Neurologits
Correct your spelling
neurologists
, paralysed patients have shown early recovery if they are treated by their family
members
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 rather than
professionals
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. Another downside of
this
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 belief is
self isolation
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self-isolation
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. It is a fact that, especially in their later years, older people love talking to family
members
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. Now, seeking professional help to take
care
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 of them would cut them off from the family and create a feeling of depression among them.
To conclude
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, despite the undeniable advantages, I firmly believe that there are far more disadvantages to leaving elderly
care
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 to a professional.
This
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 is because of a lack of personal touch and
self isolation
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self-isolation
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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