Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town hall rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As people seek a more comfortable and convenient life today, their demands increase and diversify. Some people believe that there are more advantages when the fund is invested in constructing new public
buildings
instead
of renovating old ones. I generally agree with this
view for the following reasons.
On one hand, it is more beneficial for the government to provide financial distribution to create new public buildings
because it invigorates the local community and economy. In other words
, the government is able to provide advanced services to suit the various needs of the citizens. For example
, a modern library which has a cafeteria and a spacious garden is
recently built in my town. It promotes relaxation and excitement among the users Wrong verb form
was
in contrast
to the lower quality of service offered by renovated facilities. In addition
, public buildings
in new areas can attract many people from outside, which results in raising their popularity and the local economy will prosper with the rising numbers of visitors.
On the other hand
, in spite of several advantages the public can gain from new public buildings
, there are some negative consequences the government should take into serious consideration. Indeed, a larger amount of financial investments are required to construct new museums and city halls than old ones. Therefore
, that money should be wisely distributed to other significant fields such
as welfare and education. For instance
, digital learning and improved pension systems are immediate needs in modern society.
In conclusion, constructing new public buildings
is advantageous to both individuals and society. However
, the authority should carefully determine its financial distribution to promote the happiness of individuals and the local economy.Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on
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task response
Ensure that your arguments are clearly presented with supporting evidence. Avoid generalizations in your examples and be more specific.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear and well supported. Ensure consistency in your argument development and use transitional words to enhance cohesion.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate and effective phrases to express ideas. Aim to provide more nuanced and varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your essay shows a good control of grammar and uses a variety of sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use appropriate punctuation to enhance grammatical range.